Connect with us
Advertise Here on Stickboy Bangkok

Opinion

FROM THE ARCHIVES: 10 Things I HATE About Go-Go Bars

Published

on

This list is me taking a general pot shot at no bar or area in particular rather it’s a rundown of the annoying things you can encounter on a tour of Bangkok’s chrome pole palaces that can easily spoil the fun and put a dampener on your night out.

Generally I don’t come across many of the problems listed below in my usual haunts but I always try to stick my head in places I don’t visit often to see what’s what and this is usually when the things I hate about go-go bars raise their ugly head.

10 Things I HATE About Go-Go Bars

#1 Unfriendly Doormen

Far too many of these guys studied at the school of no smiles or manners which for me is no use. They are the first faces many see as they enter a bar and a dour faced doorman who looks like he’s ready to rumble at any opportunity is not a welcoming sight.

It’s time to have those burly bouncers turn those frowns upside down.

#2 Car Alarm Techno

After making your way past the bouncer who looks like he is chewing a wasp and head through the curtain the last thing I want to hear is that Thai car alarm techno crap so many bars insist on playing.

I’ve been here before and I’m not going to go on like a broken record, pardon the pun, but the sooner bar owners realise they should be catering to their customers and not the moody maidens on stage the better.

#3 Sour Faced Staff

With the earplugs in place to drown out that drivel the “DJ” is knocking out and a seat has been found what we should see next is a smiling service chick to take the drinks order.

What you don’t want to be looking at is a scowling face that is desperate to get back to her phone or food which is far too often the case.

#4 Bad Service

Two beers and two vodka mixers is something a three year old could memorise but for some wait staff a simple 4 drink order is the stuff of scientists. Notepads and pens don’t seem to have made it into the bar world yet despite being sold for pennies at every 7-Eleven.

And when the beer does arrive it should be cold. ICE COLD. Not something hot enough to poach an egg with.

#5 Watching The Skytrain Shuffle

Go-Go Bar. Stage. Lights. Music. Girls. Sexy Outfits. Dancing.

It should be captivating, right? Of course it should but sadly what you often get is the Skytrain Shuffle.

Girl holds pole, moves just one leg by bending it at the knee and every minute or so you might get lucky and she will move her foot four inches from side to side.

Seriously, you can see more action on the BTS when it hits a bend or brakes a bit too hard than this excuse for dancing.

#6 Ladyboys In The Lineup

Another one I’ve covered here before that I’m not going to bore you with again and one I’m still waiting for an answer to.

I know, it will never come but I live in hope that one day someone, somewhere will explain the thinking behind this crazy concept.

#7 Mooching Mamasans

These big old boilers hover around trying to milk that money tit for lady drinks annoyingly asking you to buy another within 30 seconds of your girls glass being emptied while at the same time trying to snare one for themselves.

Sorry love, that’s just not gonna happen unless you are chatty, friendly and doing something to make my night better but bugging me for booze is most definitely not going to do that so take you big ole ass elsewhere and give me peace.

#8 Daft Drink Rules

Two drinks for this, three drinks for that… be it for a dancer to join you during her routine or how many lady drinks you need to buy before you can even barfine her.

Some bar owners are just as bad as the girls seeing customers as nothing more than walking ATMs.

#9 Crazy Barfine Prices

This has come up more and more of late as the number of bars increasing their base barfine rate spreads like a disease with 1,200 becoming an all too common starting price for a regular go-go dancer.

For me a 1,200 baht barfine is a physiological thing. It just sounds greedy. Ask for 900 baht and I wouldn’t bat an eye.

The 1k mark is a threshold many are not willing to cross and if bars want to keep losing loot to Line hookups that is their choice, not mine but that’s exactly what’s happening as guys are often giving the girl a little extra for some afternoon action before she gets to work meaning the bar loses out in more ways than one.

#10 No Tip Tantrums

So you’ve spent a couple of thousand baht, bought a few drinks and it’s time to be on your way as you’re not handing over 1,200 baht to barfine what could potentially be a starfish.

Then out of nowhere hands start pulling on bra tops and arms stretched out with requests for tips rolling off the lips of the little lady you’ve just bought a couple drinks for, her pal who couldn’t even crack a smile and the sulking service chick who got your order wrong.

9 times out of 10 it’s a case of dream on ladies, you’ve had your fair share of my hard earned and calling me a cheap prick in Thai just goes in one ear and out the other. If they hadn’t been so greedy I’d probably have given them a little bit of something if I’d had a good time.

See you when you see me… and off I go.

Have you got something else to add to the list that you hate about go-go bars?

I’m certain the non-smokers would have puffing punters in their top 10 somewhere or the naughty boys who enjoy bars that flash some flesh cursing the coyotes in their short shorts and vest tops.

Shoot me an email and let me know – stickboybkk@gmail.com



Stickboy aka Sticky Boy aka Mike McKay aka Mike McKwai, Wild Mike, Magic Mike, Mr Mike, and a fair few more best forgotten, is a party animal with hollow legs who loves music, current affairs, beer, food, causing trouble on Twitter, and making the most of life without worrying too much about what people think or say about his antics. You can send him stuff here - stickboybkk@gmail.com

Continue Reading
Advertisement Advertise Here on Stickboy Bangkok

Opinion

Easy Does It This Weekend

Published

on

Puffed Out

This weekend is a 4-day holiday in Thailand and normally I’d work through it and take some time off afterwards but with things so quiet on all fronts I decided to join the masses and take a couple of days off.

Updates will resume once I have slept myself silly and recharged my batteries.

I don’t plan on doing much of anything or going anywhere so I will still add a few updates on social media to pass the time as they don’t require much brainpower or thinking.

Whatever you are doing, be it the beach or boozing, maybe both, enjoy yourself and have fun.

See you on the other side.



Continue Reading

Opinion

Good Times At Geisha

Published

on

Geisha Nana Plaza

Geisha on the top floor of Nana Plaza opened back at the beginning of December 2018 and went through a rollercoaster ride under its owner dubbed the Crazy Korean.

I don’t want to drag up the past as he has now left the building and no longer in charge which has seen the bar go from alright for a quick drink to lets order another round and another.

With a Thai guy now at the helm, it is a totally different bar and me saying this comes off the back of more than one visit.

Just before the shutdown me and my bro were on a Nana bar crawl and we popped in for a drink. The new boss, staff and dancers made us right at home so much so we stayed until lights out when the plan was to hit each bar for 1 drink, ring the bell and move on.

I’d have been back sooner had it not been for the coronavirus shutdown but my wait was over when i dropped by with my missus the other night.

Decent music, cold beer, plenty of attentive staff and stage packed with birds with a second shift floating around waiting for their time.

The new man was in fine form and suggested we go watch the show in the tub with a ringside seat.

Oh man, that wee blonde thing kissing my missus will be with me until she gets round to bedding her and hopefully lets me watch.

A fun bunch they are in Geisha and unlike some other bars, nobody really giving a toss what you are up to as long as you aren’t getting out of hand and making problems and I like that because in some bars staff and security have a really bad habit of staring at people who are doing nothing wrong, just having some fun.

And one last thing to come out of my recent trip was they are up for doing a photoshoot sometime soon which would be good as I haven’t done one since last October.

So there you have another bar to add to your list the next time you are in Nana Plaza. Just don’t tell them Stickboy sent you.



Continue Reading

Opinion

A Night Out At Tartbox

Published

on

A Night Out At Tartbox

During the dry spell when there was no beer to be had Artbox at Sukhumvit Soi 10 turned into a popular spot as refreshments were available.

It wasn’t only refreshments that were available but there was also the potential to meet ladies for some short time shenanigans as there was simply nowhere else for working girls, or those short on money and an itch to scratch, to meet men with some cash to splash on a bit of horizontal mambo.

Artbox didn’t really take my fancy when a few mates had said they were going but on Saturday night they decided to drop by for a beer and a bite to eat before moving on to the Neon Alley. I caved in and decided to join them.

Having taken a wander around buying food and parking my arse close to the stage I soon came to the conclusion the sign out front needed changing from Artbox to Tartbox.

I didn’t see the security guard at the gate on cleavage duty but there must have been one as everywhere I turned all I could see was tits hanging out on display for all to see and admire.

One lady with massive melons came close to a wardrobe malfunction on several occasions as she bounced around from stall to stall with all the bloke’s eyes popping out as she passed their tables. This woman wasn’t shy and was more than happy to show off her assets.

I spotted a few familiar faces in the crowd who normally ply their trade on Soi 4 too, and yes, they were all showing off the girls like it was a competition to see who could show the most.

One thing to keep in mind if you do decide to go for a nosy and chance your arm is not everyone you see there is looking to hook up. It really is a mixed crowd so watch out you don’t get a slap for making an indecent proposal to a group of girls there to have a drink after they’ve clocked off from the office.

Will Artbox continue to be a pick-up place for ladies of the night in the future?

Who knows with bars and other nightlife venues starting to reopen there are more choices of where to go man hunting.



Continue Reading

Trending