Here are five questions NOT to ask your new best buddy you just met in a Bangkok bar as you down a few pints of Chang…
5. HOW’S IT GOING MATE?
For me, this would be number 1 because when you strike up a conversation with a stranger in a Bangkok bar I find you are opening up a can of worms that should be left well alone.
Some people likely enjoy a bit of banter and the company of a fellow farrang. Me, I’m not that guy. I’d rather sit by myself or talk pigeon English with a 50-year-old beer bar boiler than listen to Simon from Sheffield talking mind-numbing bollocks.
Chit chatting with someone I don’t know has zero appeal and best avoided at all costs. The bloke could be a psycho after two drinks or be carrying a kilo of coke in his backpack or worse, just plain boring.
4. WHAT DO YOU DO HERE?
Of course, there are people living the good life in Bangkok with a decent job that pays a good wage but the truth is many aren’t and haven’t got a pot to piss in but that’s not what they are gonna tell you, just like those who stay afloat with dodgy dealings.
Everyone is on an expat package of some sort so it seems and English teachers seemed to have all vanished overnight.
3. HOW MUCH DO YOU EARN?
The number of people who have asked me this question is bordering on ridiculous, and what is most odd is they are usually friends of friends who know the site or Facebook page.
I personally think asking someone a question like this is just plain rude.
My income is none of anyone’s business, especially by a stranger I only met 5 minutes ago but that doesn’t stop people asking and when the topic comes up with your new mate you just struck up a conversation with a pint ago, well, that is gonna have him talking in telephone numbers.
When was the last time someone said they only earned 40k a month? Never. But plenty do work low paying jobs just to stay here.
There are more expat millionaires in Bangkok’s bars than anywhere else on the planet… until it’s their round and they suddenly disappear into the night.
2. WHAT VISA ARE YOU ON?
This is key to sorting out social status and the pecking order for some and an all-important question that must be asked.
A 30-day exemption stamp followed by a Tourist Visa is the lowest of the low. Next up are ED visas and then “retirement” O-A – guys on those are often seen as “dodgy” by the visa snobs who instantly assume it has been acquired through a corrupt agent who stuck the 400k in the bank for them.
However, it appears Thai consulates the world over hand out Non-B and Non-O visas like candy as that seems to be what everyone has in their passports if they are to be believed.
1. WHERE DID YOU MEET YOUR WIFE?
Oh man, this is my favourite of them all.
I wouldn’t like to take a guess at how many guys out there that have met their missus in a chrome pole palace or happy ending massage shop over the years and good luck to them – that’s their business, not mine, but the fairytales they come up to pass their other half off as a good girl are priceless often bordering on ridiculous.
If you are gonna lie about where you met your wife or girlfriend, keep it simple.
Telling people who know better that your tattooed, SangSom swigging maiden is from a hi-so family make you look like a complete clown.