PSA For Bar Bosses – The Car Alarm Techno, Enough Is Enough

Published on 25th May 2017 by Stickboy BKK

Another night out and another night where I’m sat downing a beer, checking out some talent and having a laugh with my mates but all is not as good as it should be.

If one of the main ingredients of a bar isn’t to my liking I’m offski. I don’t care if I haven’t finished my beer or seen a sexy strumpet on stage who has caught my eye, I’m checking bin and bailing.

In all three bar areas there is simply too much choice and I know where to find a go-go that ticks all the boxes.

– Cold beer
– A decent line-up of dollybirds
– Friendly staff
– Decent service
– No bs with bills
– Good music

It’s not rocket science but in some Bangkok bars you could easily be fooled into thinking what customers want is the stuff of a secret recipe yet to be seen or shared.

erotica dancer

Sure we all like our coffee different and what I like probably isn’t what you do when talking about chrome pole crumpet. Variety is the spice of life and we can all agree on different strokes for different folks.

We can also agree that nobody wants a warm beer, extra drinks on our bills or some sour face service girl scowling at us when we order a drink.

The item on my list that may have us in disagreement is the music selection.

You may prefer old rock classics, or a bit of R’n’B or whatever… but let me ask your thoughts on what has become known in my circle of friends as “Car Alarm Techno”.

I’ve yet to meet one customer who is into this Thai-style 140 bpm headache. Do you like your ears getting pounded by looped beats and repetitive samples, over and over and over all night long?

Yes, the girls love it but hang on a second. Who is the paying customer here?

butterflies dancers

Lets take Wednesday night as an example. I visited seven bars between Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza. Four of the seven were knocking out “Car Alarm Techno” continuously. An endless loop of crap. One of the seven dropped a 15 minute segment of it into their playlist before moving in a different musical direction.

The bars not playing it is where we spent the longest amount of time and the most money.

Venues such as Shark, Spanky’s, Billboard and Bada Bing are a handful of go-go’s off the top of my head who have their house in order and employ DJs who really are DJs and not 5k a month button pushers looking for their next lay as is the case in most bars.

bada bing dj

Aside from “Car Alarm Techno”, I’m easy going when it comes to the playlist. I don’t mind modern dance music in as much as I don’t mind 20 minutes of Thai hits or some 60s, or bit of 70s rock.

I know others will be more picky and perhaps go to a bar because they do play older tunes but again, each to their own.

For me and the guys I drink with, we are all in agreement it’s time for bar bosses to knock this car alarm crap on the head. Enough is enough. Punters don’t want it and the more you play it the more you are driving people with cash in their pockets away to spend their hard earned elsewhere.

strip dancers

I’ve mentioned the topic to a few bar owners and the common replies are I’m not an ordinary customer and the guys here on holiday partying don’t mind the music being one and the other is they need to keep the girls happy.

Keep the girls happy… err, hello, customers with cash here!!!

The story about a shortage of girls is an old and broken record that still gets played yet one Nana bar actually had so many girls the other night they had to send some home. Not to mention agency girls being used more and more in bars these days. I just don’t buy the “we need to keep the girls happy” line.

It seems to me to be a case of sod the customers with money to spend, and let the inmates run the asylum.

It’s time for a change and time to start giving punters what they want, not what you think they want and most certainly not what your employees want.

Who the hell wants to listen to that at volume 11 for any more than 10 minutes?

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