I don’t do how to’s or any of the usual blog fluff and clickbait churned out by bloggers about how to hook up with Thai women here on Stickboy for a few reasons.
The main ones being the guys writing these silly guides come off as tossers the majority of the time and I’m also not in the business of telling people what they should and shouldn’t be doing with their lives (or money) when it comes to who they choose to be with.
If you want to hook up with a woman 20 years your junior or one who has seen more cockends than weekends from working the pole then that is your choice. Why should I care about how others choose to live their life? As long as it is legal, fill yer boots is my thinking.
I also don’t run any dating affiliate ads that the articles are usually built around and almost always mention as a way of meeting good girls. Yeah, sure. That is the (second) last place you want to be looking for love.
With all that said, today I’m going to make an exception after reading Dating Despair: Why finding love in Bangkok is hard for foreign men on Coconuts Bangkok and tell you that finding love in Bangkok as a foreign man is like shooting fish in a barrel.
Before I jump in and load your gun with babe busting bullets let me cover the negatives from the Coconuts article, that was written by… a woman.
“Oh, but I’m worried what people think of me with my hot uni girlfriend”.
Please. Stop. Who gives a shit what people think? Have you nothing better to be getting on with in your life than wondering what people might be thinking? If they are even thinking it at all because the only people I see judging foreigners life choices are other foreigners. The vast majority of Thais on the BTS couldn’t give a rats ass which stop you are getting off at or with who, be in Nana or National Stadium. They don’t care, 15 years ago for sure but times are a-changing.
“Is she with me for my money?”
You probably haven’t got a pot to piss in so no, she’s not with you because you earn 60k a month. If your little lady was motivated by money she’d be aiming higher, a lot higher.
“She doesn’t trust me and forces me to spend time with her family not to mention give them a bung every time they are broke”.
If she doesn’t trust you having a few bevvies with the boys then it is time to reach for that top pocket and pull out the red card. You’re with the wrong woman. If someone is forcing you to do anything against your will then it is time to grow a pair, man up and stop letting her wear the trousers 24/7.
All Bangkok expat dating dilemmas and failed relationships I hear or read about are down to those individuals and the choices / decisions they make often leaving them with a great big chip on their shoulder.
So how do you find love in Bangkok?
Simple. Open your eyes, take your nose out your phone, stay away from places you pay for services rendered and talk to everyday people.
It’s not bloody rocket science.
Instead of telling you how and where I think it would be easier to list what you should be avoiding in your search for love, or at least a date to get the ball rolling, because we are all different and what works for me might, and probably won’t, work for you. And I’m not Dr Dating.
Greater Bangkok has a population estimated at around 12 million and is absolutely massive in size. That’s a lot of single women in a lot of places yet the majority stick to the same small bubbles they have created for themselves and think traveling from Asoke to Ari is the stuff of an Antarctic expedition.
Now I’m not saying you can’t find love on the Sukhumvit strip but I’d suggest scoring a line through that and broaden your horizons.
If you don’t speak some basic conversational Thai then it is time you learned to because without it you’re options are slashed dramatically. And think about it, if you do meet the love of your life and plan to be together “Till Death Do You Part”… the Thai you have learned is going to come in pretty handy.
Dating sites are a waste of time unless you are going to pay for a premium service and learn how to use the advanced features otherwise you’re going to be chatting mainly with hookers and gold diggers.
I know I said above dating sites are the (second) last place to go looking for love, knocking shops are top of the list, but some of you will be shy and lack confidence.
The other downside to online dating for me is all that chat and messenger bs. You can’t read the persons face or reactions to the conversation like you could if you were talking to them face to face in real life, so if you come across someone you like and their replies are positive ask them out for a coffee quick style. No pissing about with useless chit chat talking bollocks.
Approaching women in public is perfectly fine but you better have the patter and personality to pull it off otherwise you’re gonna come over as a creep or a sexpest meaning you’re going to get absolutely nowhere, not to mention look like Wally The Weirdo.
When you do meet someone ask them for their actual phone number. Forget Facebook, Whatsapp and Line until you’ve been out together on at least one proper date.
Those with half a brain will have twigged what I’m getting at here after only a couple of paragraphs. Those who haven’t are in for a tough time.
Oh and one more thing. Tell the truth.
If you are 55 tell people you are 55. Why lie and dig yourself a great big hole? If you go telling a few porkies what happens 3 months down the road when you’re getting on like a house on fire but your new love thinks you are 10 years younger?
You’ll need to tell her sometime and when you do she’s going to question everything you’ve ever told her and it will eventually end with you saying, “there goes another relationship”.
If a fat forty-something with a face like a well skelped arse like me can easily find a date, why can’t you? Not that I need to these days now that I’m a happily married man…