First Impressions: Kazy Kozy Soi Cowboy

Two nights in is far, far too early to render judgment on a new go-go bar, but given the anticipation behind what was assumed to be “Crazy House 2”, I popped in so as to pass along some first impressions.

Kazy Kozy may be Thinglish for “Crazy” and “Cosy” but it is neither of those things. It is decidedly not Crazy House 2 and is not cosy: It’s tiny.

The decision to place two rows of theatre-style bench seating around every wall made the former Old Dutch’s dining room look expansive in retrospect. The small amount of space left for the stage in the middle led to a decision to create two short platforms separated by a middle aisle. Each stage can accommodate up to four girls before they start skewering each other with stilettos.

Each platform is encircled by midget-height stools that stand only thigh-high. Those with arthritic knees need not apply. Scattered along the wall sofas are miniature (seeing a theme here?) cocktail tables that are impossible to sit behind, only alongside.

Those hoping for design improvements over Crazy House’s industry-leading poor layout also will be disappointed. Each stage has several pointy marble corners that that already are proving perilous to testicles.

Now, there are plans to open – “soon” staffers said – a first floor which may or may not be larger than the ground floor. Signage outside purports to explain the concept, with “L1” being “Kazy” (or Crazy in non-Thinglish) and L2 being “Kozy” (Cosy).

The reality, however, may prove just the opposite. Unlike Crazy House, there is no glass ceiling on L1, meaning what happens on L2 stays on L2. In the end, it could be the upper floor that gets Kazy, while downstairs, with lots of prying eyes popping in at the entrance to Soi Cowboy, will remain decidedly Kosy.

That certainly seems to be the game plan on the first weekend, with about 20 dancing damsels clad in halter tops and short skirts, although knickers seemed to be optional.

First Impressions Kazy Kozy Soi Cowboy

You won’t find any familiar faces from Crazy House here. The former papasan from Nana Plaza’s Billboard, Bangkok Bunnies and Playskool, along with a broken-down ladyboy from Five Star (co-owned by the Crazy House crew) have brought in new working wenches who, for the most part, were slim, smiley and attractive. Some obviously felt confined by their abundant clothing and did their best to entice punters with what lies underneath those short skirts.

Someone also took a broom and a wet cloth to the place, as there was no sign of the construction debris from Friday night. The lights are modern LEDs, not Crazy House’s seizure-inducing variety, and the music was loud, but bearable, techno familiar to anyone who has been to the sister bar around the corner.

But that’s really where the resemblance to Crazy House ends. Kazy Kozy is far more akin to Five Star than the Soi 23 den of debauchery, from the layout to the lighting to the dress code to prices: The typical 170-baht drink in Crazy House is 180 baht here. I didn’t sample a lady drink, but there is a large, animated LED menu right outside the front door, so there will be no surprises. (Five Star charges 200 baht for lady drinks.)

Also notable: Kazy Kosy uses computerized bills as opposed to the written bins you get around the corner.

All in all, it has been a smooth start for Kazy Kosy. Those expecting the naked antics of Crazy House will be disappointed, but the potential remains for some Soi 23 spillover once the first floor opens.

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