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Now, There’s A First



And no I’m not talking about Gav The Gaffer lifting the bin to pay it in Playskool after he was coerced into buying the mama a drink but that is how this story started.

We’d seen all there was to see and it was time to move on. As Gav lifted the bin to pay it I loudly said, “Now, there’s a first” but I wasn’t talking about my thrifty drinking companion, I was actually talking about the DJ who’d picked up the mic to announce a shift change for the dancers.

What took me by surprise was how clearly he’d spoken, like a pro. He even had the correct settings on his mic. Not the usual muffled madness you get from these low paid button pushers employed in the majority of Bangkok go-go bars.

But the DJ and Gav were not the only ones hearing, “Now, there’s a first” on #SlipperySunday. It turned out to be a theme for the entire night.

slippery sunday

My next port of call was Twister bar on the middle floor – the home of car alarm techno. But something was amiss as I ordered. There was no 145 bpm crap coming out the speakers, nope, the crowd were being entertained by a set of R&B and rap classics. Happy days.

Mind you, I didn’t stay long, it was a flying visit as I wanted to stick my head in a few bars so off I went up another level to Butterflies which has come on leaps and bounds in recent times.

I pull up a stool at my usual perch and take a look around. The DJ knows his stuff and has killed off his MC’ing skills much to my delight. A fun atmosphere and a happy crew working both stages.

GTG shows up and is soon pounced upon with an invite to have one of the dancing dollybirds join him. He asks for FOUR and off goes little Missy. I ask him what the hell he is going to do with four birds and he says, “Pick one, I’m not forking out for four lady drinks”.

We watched and waited but Missy didn’t return with four of her thirsty friends. Now, there’s another first. Normally they’d be queuing up.

A First

The next port of call was Erotica where the bikini babes are normally enthusiastic when it comes to doing their best to entice you into asking them to join you for a drink.

I’d have been as well changing my name to the invisible man. Now, don’t get me wrong, everyone was saying hello and smiling but that was it for the night. Maybe it was payday and they didn’t need the dosh. Who knows but yet another first.

It was close to midnight by now and three more bars were still to be ticked off the list but I’d met the Sexy Night crew on Friday at closing time and promised I’d join them at some point for a refreshment or three.

Not that they’d care or remember if I showed up or not but I like to try my best when I’ve said I’ll do something so off I go telling myself I’ll have a couple and be on my way. As they say, plans are made to be broken.

An unusual “Now, there’s a first” came in the way of me not taking over the playlist. I sat back and let others do the song selections which is rare. As I mentioned before, one of the reasons I enjoy Sexy Night is the music and I’m normally scribbling songs down like it is my own personal jukebox but last night I took a back seat. Don’t expect that to happen again anytime soon.

Beer, beer, more beer, a game of XO, more beer and then another “Now, there’s a first”.

The young service lass always takes good care of me. She goes to the 7-11 for smokes, fetches me money from the ATM, keeps me stocked with cold beer and for her efforts I always buy her a drink. Now she’s young and normally just has a Coke which is fine by me but I jokingly said to her last night are you going to have something stronger and she says, “Tequila”. Aye, sure.

tequila shot

A shot glass filled with clear liquid appears on the bar which i assumed was filled with water and her pulling my leg. I picked it up for a sniff and damn, it was the real deal. I wasn’t expecting that.

It was time to check my second bin, don’t ask, and head to Spanky’s to see Tricky Nicky for a nightcap.

In I go but the normally larger than life Nicky is as sober as a judge. “Now, there’s a first” at the back of two. He is usually charged up on Jagers and ready to party until sunrise but not on this occasion.

I’m starting to think there was some sort of full moon last night…

Stickboy aka Sticky Boy aka Mike McKay aka Mike McKwai, Wild Mike, Magic Mike, Mr Mike, and a fair few more best forgotten, is a party animal with hollow legs who loves music, current affairs, beer, food, causing trouble on Twitter, and making the most of life without worrying too much about what people think or say about his antics. You can send him stuff here -

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The Countdown Is On And Time Is Running Out Fast For Some



The Countdown Is On And Time Is Running Out Fast For Some

The visa amnesty in Thailand ends this weekend and the clock is ticking for tens of thousands who still don’t know what to do, can’t get an extension, can’t leave and return to activate another 90 days on their multiple entry visas and of course, those that claim they are “stuck” here when in fact they just don’t want to return home.

Those claiming they are stuck deserve no sympathy. Nobody is “stuck” anywhere.

Six months have past and many have enjoyed an extra half year in Thailand without worrying about their visa situation. I’ve read hundreds of stories over the past few months from people with far fetched tales that have more holes in them than an 18-hole golf course.

The bottom line is some people love it here and don’t want to leave but they can’t get a visa as they don’t have a job, don’t have a wife or mostly, don’t have the cash to support a visa application that requires money in the bank.

Agents having made a mint charging in the region of 55-70,000 baht for Volunteer visas. Others are cooking the (bank) books for those seeking a retirement visa and coining it in charging inflated fees knowing people are desperate to stay.

On the other hand, many who were here legally before the COVID carry on kicked in are in a difficult position.

Married men and woman who have a Non-O multiple entry visa spring to mind.

Those using this method of living in Thailand long term arrive with a shiny new visa sticker in their passport and get a 90-day stamp upon arrival at the airport.

Just before the 90 days is up they have 2 choices:

– do a border hop and get another 90 days when they come back into the country
– go to immigration and get a 60-day extension for 1900 baht.

With the country closed to international travellers, those border hops just aren’t possible and some have found during the past six months their visas have expired leaving them unable to pop over to Savannakhet where they could apply for a new one.

Those still with time left on their visa are now in a jam too as they can’t exit and re-enter.

For reasons unknown, the government nor immigration have addressed or come up with a solution for those in this situation.

So come Saturday 26 September, they are left with no choice but to either leave or stay and face prosecution and blacklisting from Thailand if they are caught.

Some have been given an extra 60 days for visiting family that sees them through until late November, but what then if the borders are still shut?

And that’s me just talking about people living here on a multiple entry marriage visas.

There are thousands of other stories and situations that will see people forced to leave or ignore the warnings of being fined and blacklisted who choose to remain and take their chances until borders reopen allowing them to do what is needed to live here legally.

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Fantasy Footbun




Fantasy Footbun

With the 2020 / 2021 football season about to start, it is time to test your footy knowledge and compete against the best of the best of Thailand Twitter’s Wannabe Football Managers.

With the first Gameweek closing on 12th September at 5pm (Thai time) there’s still some time to turn off Pornhub, clean yourself up and sign up for the league. And for god’s sake put some clothes on. (League code: q93lfx).

Let us kick things off with a look at the (currently) 23 teams competing in the Thai Twitter League.

We have two accounts new to Fantasy Premier League, Johan B’s ‘Digiman’ and Anthony M’s ‘Siam Swoon’. Time will tell if they pick up the rules quick enough to enjoy the game and do not lose interest by Christmas and languish at the bottom with a team full of injuries and nobodies.

At the other end of the table, the three teams with the highest score in the 2019-2020 season were:

1. 2313 : Cain in the Kok – Paul C

2. 2283 : Lockdown City – Alec P

3. 2281 : One Man Clapping – Nick W

Three managers looking to improve on last year’s total are Expat Asia’s ‘Sukhumvit FC’, Tim P’s ‘Maximum20characters’ and Johan J’s ‘FarangPilot FC’ that finished with 1729, 1920 and 1913 points respectively.

There is still time to join! Log in via the Premier League app or on the website and use this code to sign up for the Thailand Twitter League. League code: q93lfx

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Tales From The Front: Sunday Dinner On A Saturday Night



Stickboy, Fatface, and The Keeper are sat in a British pub on lower Sukhumvit on a Saturday night…

A gathering of the clan earlier in the evening for some birthday beers meant Stickboy’s belly needed filling before meeting back up with everyone who had gone in different directions ahead of the cake cutting ceremony at Lighthouse sometime around 10pm.

Somchai The Dog had popped in for a couple of shandies but was looking like a burst couch and was having none of it ordering takeout before disappearing into the dark Bang Na bound on the BTS.

The other half of the Dangerous Duo, Digiman, wasn’t ready for home just yet but had no interest in food.

The Keeper orders quesadillas while smooth-talking his missus, girlfriend or gik – maybe all three – and wasn’t paying attention to much as Fatface orders Chips & Curry sauce for Stickboy.

sunday roast on a saturday night

The food arrives, everyone digs in, more beer is ordered to wash down the grub as all four eat what’s sat on the table.

The Keeper is still on the phone like an old sweetie wife and starts making space on the table with his free hand when a waitress arrives over his shoulder with another plate of food.

He clears a space in front of Fatface and Stickboy who look at each other thinking that’s an odd place to put a roast dinner they both think The Keeper has ordered for himself.

He ends his call and tucks into the roast pork telling everyone to help themselves which they do.

Chips are in the gravy, potatoes are in the curry sauce and the plate is emptying at a fair pace as four mouths feast on the Sunday dinner.

More than halfway through the food a member of the service staff appears and starts talking to The Keeper with Fatface joining in.

Something is amiss.

“Hey Stickboy, did you order the pork roast?”, enquires The Keeper.

“No mate, I thought you did.”

In his best Shaggy voice, he fires back, “It wasn’t me”.

It turns out some poor bloke sat at the bar was sitting patiently waiting on his dinner the staff had wrongly delivered that the four scavengers had all but demolished each of them thinking someone else at the table fancied a Sunday dinner on a Saturday night.

sunday roast on a saturday night

The four grubbers thought this was hilarious and all just shrugged their shoulders laughing having told the service staff to take it away… until Stickboy’s bin arrived with a Roast Pork Loin at 295 baht on it.

He wasn’t laughing any more.

Had it not been for the fact his mates own the pub he’d likely have upset the waitresses with a few choice words having been billed for something he didn’t order with zero conversation between staff and customer over what was a genuine mistake on the part of everyone involved.

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