Patpong Via Penang

Published on 30th September 2017 by Stickboy BKK

I’m happy to report I’m now feeling semi-human again after falling into bed this morning at 1am completely exhausted after a day that seen me going to Patpong via Penang.

After a wild Wednesday night – all Nathan’s fault, again – I was hungover as hell on Thursday which left me chasing my tail work wise and with a day away from my desk on the cards Friday that wasn’t what I needed but hey, no one twisted my arm up my back to neck so much booze.

I finally had everything finished at around 4am and hit the hay with the alarm set for 8am as I had a flight to catch at 10.50 at DMK.

Penang bound for a quick jaunt to keep my visa valid for another 90 days as I cocked up some paperwork to extend it at Cheangwattana. 4,000 baht return with my inbound flight arriving back in Bangkok at 7.40pm. Not too bad.

The trip itself was very uneventful other than me looking a right prick sat outside the departure hall book in hand with dribble running down my chin after falling asleep. If I’d been sat alone no worries but I’d been joined on the seating by a French mother and daughter who seemed rather entertained by the snoring Scotsman.

penang patpong

AirAsia managed to get both flights on schedule too which makes a nice change.

Immigration and security at Don Mueang was a breeze and the signs stating 15 and 20 minute waiting times were grossly exaggerated with queuing times talking no more than 5 minutes both in and out of the country.

With a stamp in my passport for late December it was up to arrivals for a quick smoke of my Duty Free cancer sticks (carton of Marlboro Lights 105 MYR – 828 Baht) and then to find myself a cab. And talking of taxis, the queues downstairs at arrivals were pretty long. I obviously didn’t hang about so not sure how quick they cleared them.

Ciggy snubbed out and off to find a kind cabbie who wanted to take me to Silom using the meter as I had some friends to catch up with in Patpong and going home first would mean me falling asleep and letting them down so I decided to go directly from the airport.

They say never judge a book by its cover but that’s exactly what I did when the yellow taxi with its red light on crawled to a stop in front of me. Spoilers, stickers, bean can exhaust, the works. I’m thinking this guy is gonna quote me 500 baht. I opened the door and soon changed that to 700 baht when I spotted a row of neon lit dials on the dashboard.

How wrong was I? Completely.

Meter on and no patter about airport surcharges that I’ve had in the past from some of these chancers. Boy was a friendly fella with decent English and no sooner were we off when we were pulling in so he could show off his cab.

JFC I’ve never seen anything like it in all my time here. It was like a party limo in a Bangkok taxi with the interior all done in red suede, rows of lights on the roof and of course, he had the sound system to sync the disco lights placed all along the parcel shelf.

He was proud as punch and I can’t blame him as it was out of this world.

penang patpong

Traffic at 8.30pm on a Friday night was pretty light and we didn’t hit any problems until Silom where it was gridlocked. Fare paid with a nice tip and up through the hellhole that is Patpong Night Market to Kiss Bar on Soi 1.

I hung around for an hour or so catching up with everyone I planned to see. Popped into Glamour and Bada Bing before hitting Club Electric Blue to say a quick hello to my boy Dano before heading home. As expected he didn’t let me leave without a beer. Nobody ever does.

Mrs Stick had some Korean curry ready and waiting as I’d called ahead so she could fire up the pots and pans. My eyes were closing scoffing that, a few emails sent full of typos. Time up. Bed was calling.

I slept like a baby and didn’t pop my peepers until just before 9am which is a first in a long time so I’m feeling fit as a fiddle and ready for a day of work and a night of photoshoots.

Well, I had yesterday off really, didn’t I?

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