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#SlipperySunday: Anal Offers & Snakes On My Soi

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It’s been a few months since I’ve slipped on a Soi 4 banana skin carefully placed in my path by Gav The Gaffer on a Sunday night when he knows I’ll be visiting the three floor pleasure palace for a couple of beers.

He had them carefully placed at the steps of Stumble Inn last night and I slipped head first into the path of Patty who pointed me in the direction of the rear entrance for me to stumble right out.

No warm up Tiger pints tonight. Straight right in. That’s never a good way to start the night.

anal offers and snakes on my soi

I did have some business to attend to on the top floor but the Billboard boss was wandering and nowhere to be seen so off I went with plans to come back.

Down the stairs and past the two rows of staff from Casanova and DC-10 who thankfully ignored me as I made my way along to Angelwitch which was rather busy for 9.30pm on a Sunday night.

Apparently I’d walked straight past Dave The Rave who was stood outside admiring puppies so back out I go to see what the Go-Go Guru is saying. He wasn’t leaving those big beauties for my ugly mug so I waited patiently for him to pop his eyes back into their sockets and who steps out of Spanky’s while I’m waiting?

Tricky Nicky is back from his European tour and ready to party like there’s no tomorrow. I sign up for a spanking later and finally drag Dave inside for a beer.

Not five minutes later Gav The Gaffer showed up with a smile on his face having just come from “checking” on Temptations. My arse. From the way he was walking it was more like someone at Temptations had been checking him. I’m sure that boy bats both ways.

A beer, a look at the sexy shows and it was time to go.

angelwitch

My shortlist was Butterflies, Erotica, Spanky’s and Twister in no particular order so I started at the top and worked my way down.

Butterflies now have roller dividers that shut off one section of the bar when it’s quieter to create a better atmosphere with just one stage and the hot tub that works really well.

Dave departed as he was carrying his shopping around in a backpack and he didn’t want it going off. A few drinks for a few girls and once again it was time for pastures new.

Spanky’s it was and Nicky was in fine form and on the Jägerbombs. It was way to early in the night for that carry on so I skipped and stuck with beer.

Having told me earlier he had a bunch of new girls who were just my type he asks can one of the new recruits join me for a drink? Sure, I can make small talk with anyone about anything so he beckons a slim looking dancer off the stage to come join us, well me, as he buggered off to do some “work” as he calls it.

A nice enough lass with a few tattoos who had been plying her trade on the Neon Alley. She skipped the usual bs which was nice as I can’t be arsed going through it all. Once we cleared up her doubts about why she was sat with me out of thin air she asks, “Do you like anal? You like to fuck ass?”… woah, hang on love. Us joking you had a sexy butt instantly has me down as a backdoor boy?

There was no mistake or anything lost in translation. This little sexpot loved it up the chocolate wiz way and was looking for some Scottish sausage to fill her needs so to speak.

Back door action isn’t my thing so I let Nicky know he had someone on the books with a service a few of his customers may be seeking and left them to it.

Enough for me, time to check bin and go stick my nose in Erotica.

erotica nana plaza

A big unit sat her ass beside me talking utter drivel that had me reaching for the bill before I was halfway through my beer. I couldn’t be bothered listening nor could I be bothered telling her to beat it politely.

The offerings on stage were sparse anyway with nothing catching my eye so time to bolt.

Twister had a full compliment of topless totty with an old friend trying to hustle a drink off me but I thought it was a better idea to sit with her roommate for a quick tequila to keep her at bay. She knows me to well and gave the old flick of the hair, fuck you speccy, routine and went in search of someone more generous.

Another short stop as there’s only so much car alarm techno one man can take at high volume.

butterflies twister

And back to Butterflies it was as they were all decked out in Daisy Dukes which isn’t so bad plus the music is decent and the beer is cold.

A few more beers, a few more lady drinks and a few more laughs later I make my way home with a McDs. I’ve had my fill for the night.

soi 4 mcds

My gabby cabbie kept me entertained all the way home and just as we swung a left into my soi he slammed on the anchors as there was something in the middle of the road.

I thought it was a pile of rubbish dropped by the trash men who come around late on and I offered to go move it. As I reached for the door he grabbed my arm telling me no, no and to look.

Fook!!!

I could see exactly why he didn’t want me getting out. It was a big bloody snake that now had its neck up ready to take a pot shot at the front of the car.

It was all coiled up and Mr Cabbie claimed it was about 3 meters long which means it was more likely to be around two. Even so, what the hell was it doing there and where had it come from?

My soi has a few undeveloped plots that are like mini jungles and I suppose it could have been camping out in one of them. Seeing it might also explain why my 700 meter long street has never had a single soi dog roaming up and down it in the two years or so I’ve lived here.

Hopefully someone caught the bugger today as I don’t fancy meeting that as I make my way to the main road after dark. Old Stick would be getting stretchered off to some medical facility having had a seizure of some sort.

And there you have it. That was my sorta soberish #SlipperySunday at Nana Plaza. Nothing exciting which is why I don’t do many write ups like this.



Stickboy aka Sticky Boy aka Mike McKay aka Mike McKwai, Wild Mike, Magic Mike, Mr Mike, and a fair few more best forgotten, is a party animal with hollow legs who loves music, current affairs, beer, food, causing trouble on Twitter, and making the most of life without worrying too much about what people think or say about his antics. You can send him stuff here - stickboybkk@gmail.com

Opinion

The Countdown Is On And Time Is Running Out Fast For Some

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The Countdown Is On And Time Is Running Out Fast For Some

The visa amnesty in Thailand ends this weekend and the clock is ticking for tens of thousands who still don’t know what to do, can’t get an extension, can’t leave and return to activate another 90 days on their multiple entry visas and of course, those that claim they are “stuck” here when in fact they just don’t want to return home.

Those claiming they are stuck deserve no sympathy. Nobody is “stuck” anywhere.

Six months have past and many have enjoyed an extra half year in Thailand without worrying about their visa situation. I’ve read hundreds of stories over the past few months from people with far fetched tales that have more holes in them than an 18-hole golf course.

The bottom line is some people love it here and don’t want to leave but they can’t get a visa as they don’t have a job, don’t have a wife or mostly, don’t have the cash to support a visa application that requires money in the bank.

Agents having made a mint charging in the region of 55-70,000 baht for Volunteer visas. Others are cooking the (bank) books for those seeking a retirement visa and coining it in charging inflated fees knowing people are desperate to stay.

On the other hand, many who were here legally before the COVID carry on kicked in are in a difficult position.

Married men and woman who have a Non-O multiple entry visa spring to mind.

Those using this method of living in Thailand long term arrive with a shiny new visa sticker in their passport and get a 90-day stamp upon arrival at the airport.

Just before the 90 days is up they have 2 choices:

– do a border hop and get another 90 days when they come back into the country
– go to immigration and get a 60-day extension for 1900 baht.

With the country closed to international travellers, those border hops just aren’t possible and some have found during the past six months their visas have expired leaving them unable to pop over to Savannakhet where they could apply for a new one.

Those still with time left on their visa are now in a jam too as they can’t exit and re-enter.

For reasons unknown, the government nor immigration have addressed or come up with a solution for those in this situation.

So come Saturday 26 September, they are left with no choice but to either leave or stay and face prosecution and blacklisting from Thailand if they are caught.

Some have been given an extra 60 days for visiting family that sees them through until late November, but what then if the borders are still shut?

And that’s me just talking about people living here on a multiple entry marriage visas.

There are thousands of other stories and situations that will see people forced to leave or ignore the warnings of being fined and blacklisted who choose to remain and take their chances until borders reopen allowing them to do what is needed to live here legally.



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Opinion

Fantasy Footbun

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Fantasy Footbun

With the 2020 / 2021 football season about to start, it is time to test your footy knowledge and compete against the best of the best of Thailand Twitter’s Wannabe Football Managers.

With the first Gameweek closing on 12th September at 5pm (Thai time) there’s still some time to turn off Pornhub, clean yourself up and sign up for the league. And for god’s sake put some clothes on. (League code: q93lfx).

Let us kick things off with a look at the (currently) 23 teams competing in the Thai Twitter League.

We have two accounts new to Fantasy Premier League, Johan B’s ‘Digiman’ and Anthony M’s ‘Siam Swoon’. Time will tell if they pick up the rules quick enough to enjoy the game and do not lose interest by Christmas and languish at the bottom with a team full of injuries and nobodies.

At the other end of the table, the three teams with the highest score in the 2019-2020 season were:

1. 2313 : Cain in the Kok – Paul C

2. 2283 : Lockdown City – Alec P

3. 2281 : One Man Clapping – Nick W

Three managers looking to improve on last year’s total are Expat Asia’s ‘Sukhumvit FC’, Tim P’s ‘Maximum20characters’ and Johan J’s ‘FarangPilot FC’ that finished with 1729, 1920 and 1913 points respectively.

There is still time to join! Log in via the Premier League app or on the website fantasy.premierleague.com and use this code to sign up for the Thailand Twitter League. League code: q93lfx



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Opinion

Tales From The Front: Sunday Dinner On A Saturday Night

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Stickboy, Fatface, and The Keeper are sat in a British pub on lower Sukhumvit on a Saturday night…

A gathering of the clan earlier in the evening for some birthday beers meant Stickboy’s belly needed filling before meeting back up with everyone who had gone in different directions ahead of the cake cutting ceremony at Lighthouse sometime around 10pm.

Somchai The Dog had popped in for a couple of shandies but was looking like a burst couch and was having none of it ordering takeout before disappearing into the dark Bang Na bound on the BTS.

The other half of the Dangerous Duo, Digiman, wasn’t ready for home just yet but had no interest in food.

The Keeper orders quesadillas while smooth-talking his missus, girlfriend or gik – maybe all three – and wasn’t paying attention to much as Fatface orders Chips & Curry sauce for Stickboy.

sunday roast on a saturday night

The food arrives, everyone digs in, more beer is ordered to wash down the grub as all four eat what’s sat on the table.

The Keeper is still on the phone like an old sweetie wife and starts making space on the table with his free hand when a waitress arrives over his shoulder with another plate of food.

He clears a space in front of Fatface and Stickboy who look at each other thinking that’s an odd place to put a roast dinner they both think The Keeper has ordered for himself.

He ends his call and tucks into the roast pork telling everyone to help themselves which they do.

Chips are in the gravy, potatoes are in the curry sauce and the plate is emptying at a fair pace as four mouths feast on the Sunday dinner.

More than halfway through the food a member of the service staff appears and starts talking to The Keeper with Fatface joining in.

Something is amiss.

“Hey Stickboy, did you order the pork roast?”, enquires The Keeper.

“No mate, I thought you did.”

In his best Shaggy voice, he fires back, “It wasn’t me”.

It turns out some poor bloke sat at the bar was sitting patiently waiting on his dinner the staff had wrongly delivered that the four scavengers had all but demolished each of them thinking someone else at the table fancied a Sunday dinner on a Saturday night.

sunday roast on a saturday night

The four grubbers thought this was hilarious and all just shrugged their shoulders laughing having told the service staff to take it away… until Stickboy’s bin arrived with a Roast Pork Loin at 295 baht on it.

He wasn’t laughing any more.

Had it not been for the fact his mates own the pub he’d likely have upset the waitresses with a few choice words having been billed for something he didn’t order with zero conversation between staff and customer over what was a genuine mistake on the part of everyone involved.



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