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#SlipperySunday: Anal Offers & Snakes On My Soi

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It’s been a few months since I’ve slipped on a Soi 4 banana skin carefully placed in my path by Gav The Gaffer on a Sunday night when he knows I’ll be visiting the three floor pleasure palace for a couple of beers.

He had them carefully placed at the steps of Stumble Inn last night and I slipped head first into the path of Patty who pointed me in the direction of the rear entrance for me to stumble right out.

No warm up Tiger pints tonight. Straight right in. That’s never a good way to start the night.

anal offers and snakes on my soi

I did have some business to attend to on the top floor but the Billboard boss was wandering and nowhere to be seen so off I went with plans to come back.

Down the stairs and past the two rows of staff from Casanova and DC-10 who thankfully ignored me as I made my way along to Angelwitch which was rather busy for 9.30pm on a Sunday night.

Apparently I’d walked straight past Dave The Rave who was stood outside admiring puppies so back out I go to see what the Go-Go Guru is saying. He wasn’t leaving those big beauties for my ugly mug so I waited patiently for him to pop his eyes back into their sockets and who steps out of Spanky’s while I’m waiting?

Tricky Nicky is back from his European tour and ready to party like there’s no tomorrow. I sign up for a spanking later and finally drag Dave inside for a beer.

Not five minutes later Gav The Gaffer showed up with a smile on his face having just come from “checking” on Temptations. My arse. From the way he was walking it was more like someone at Temptations had been checking him. I’m sure that boy bats both ways.

A beer, a look at the sexy shows and it was time to go.

angelwitch

My shortlist was Butterflies, Erotica, Spanky’s and Twister in no particular order so I started at the top and worked my way down.

Butterflies now have roller dividers that shut off one section of the bar when it’s quieter to create a better atmosphere with just one stage and the hot tub that works really well.

Dave departed as he was carrying his shopping around in a backpack and he didn’t want it going off. A few drinks for a few girls and once again it was time for pastures new.

Spanky’s it was and Nicky was in fine form and on the Jägerbombs. It was way to early in the night for that carry on so I skipped and stuck with beer.

Having told me earlier he had a bunch of new girls who were just my type he asks can one of the new recruits join me for a drink? Sure, I can make small talk with anyone about anything so he beckons a slim looking dancer off the stage to come join us, well me, as he buggered off to do some “work” as he calls it.

A nice enough lass with a few tattoos who had been plying her trade on the Neon Alley. She skipped the usual bs which was nice as I can’t be arsed going through it all. Once we cleared up her doubts about why she was sat with me out of thin air she asks, “Do you like anal? You like to fuck ass?”… woah, hang on love. Us joking you had a sexy butt instantly has me down as a backdoor boy?

There was no mistake or anything lost in translation. This little sexpot loved it up the chocolate wiz way and was looking for some Scottish sausage to fill her needs so to speak.

Back door action isn’t my thing so I let Nicky know he had someone on the books with a service a few of his customers may be seeking and left them to it.

Enough for me, time to check bin and go stick my nose in Erotica.

erotica nana plaza

A big unit sat her ass beside me talking utter drivel that had me reaching for the bill before I was halfway through my beer. I couldn’t be bothered listening nor could I be bothered telling her to beat it politely.

The offerings on stage were sparse anyway with nothing catching my eye so time to bolt.

Twister had a full compliment of topless totty with an old friend trying to hustle a drink off me but I thought it was a better idea to sit with her roommate for a quick tequila to keep her at bay. She knows me to well and gave the old flick of the hair, fuck you speccy, routine and went in search of someone more generous.

Another short stop as there’s only so much car alarm techno one man can take at high volume.

butterflies twister

And back to Butterflies it was as they were all decked out in Daisy Dukes which isn’t so bad plus the music is decent and the beer is cold.

A few more beers, a few more lady drinks and a few more laughs later I make my way home with a McDs. I’ve had my fill for the night.

soi 4 mcds

My gabby cabbie kept me entertained all the way home and just as we swung a left into my soi he slammed on the anchors as there was something in the middle of the road.

I thought it was a pile of rubbish dropped by the trash men who come around late on and I offered to go move it. As I reached for the door he grabbed my arm telling me no, no and to look.

Fook!!!

I could see exactly why he didn’t want me getting out. It was a big bloody snake that now had its neck up ready to take a pot shot at the front of the car.

It was all coiled up and Mr Cabbie claimed it was about 3 meters long which means it was more likely to be around two. Even so, what the hell was it doing there and where had it come from?

My soi has a few undeveloped plots that are like mini jungles and I suppose it could have been camping out in one of them. Seeing it might also explain why my 700 meter long street has never had a single soi dog roaming up and down it in the two years or so I’ve lived here.

Hopefully someone caught the bugger today as I don’t fancy meeting that as I make my way to the main road after dark. Old Stick would be getting stretchered off to some medical facility having had a seizure of some sort.

And there you have it. That was my sorta soberish #SlipperySunday at Nana Plaza. Nothing exciting which is why I don’t do many write ups like this.

Stickboy BKK is the #1 website for Bangkok nightlife and entertainment news for expats and tourists, covering everything from local news to what's going on after dark. You can drop us an email here - stickboybangkok@gmail.com

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Opinion

9 Ways You’ll Get Caught Cheating In Bangkok

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Not every man who lives in Bangkok strays but at some point in their life most men do. Fact.

Denying it is commonplace with many claiming to be faithful to their partner. My ass.

And the more you do it the more chance you’ll get caught. That’s a given.

Here are 9 ways you’ll get caught cheating in Bangkok that you might not have considered.


A Sighting

A Sighting

Bangkok is big but not that big

You’d think a city of 12 million would be a great place to avoid anyone who might know you on a night out with your bit on the side by going down some far-flung alley but Bangkok has eyes everywhere.

It’s not about who you see but who sees you.

Do you know where the cleaners from your condo live? The WIN guys from down the soi? An acquaintance of your other half who you’ve never met but has seen dozens of pictures of you?

There are no secrets in this city especially when it comes to Thais gossiping about the bad farang with the beautiful girlfriend.


A Road Accident

A Road Accident

Rare but possible

Suddenly you are in hospital at 2am because speeding Somchai ran a red light and smacked a passing pickup. How are you going to explain what you were doing out in the middle of the night after saying you were tired and having an early night at 10.45pm?

As they say, accidents do happen.


A Message

A Message

Chat apps are your enemy

You exchanged numbers or added her on Line – a BIG MISTAKE that will likely come back to bite you on the bum.

You can’t guard your mobile 24/7 not to mention all that sneaking around and suspicious behaviour when it beeps is going to set alarm bells ringing in your little lady’s head.

Hiding notifications or muting your chats is a feeble attempt at covering up your sordid sexts. It might work in the short term but after a few weeks of fooling around the hammer will fall, either on your head or your handset. If you are unlucky, both.


lipstick on shirt collar

Perfume & Lipstick

Old but obvious

“What’s that mark on your jeans darling?”
“Where?”
“Right next to your dick that I’m about to cut off if it’s what I think it is.”

Hungover after a night of drunken antics with a floozy down the dark depths of Soi 22 you forgot all about joking around and sticking her head down there pretending she was blowing you. It was all good fun at the time but she left her mark. A smudge of lipstick that your bleary eyes never noticed through your drunken haze but her indoors won’t miss it.


extra condoms

Condoms

Safe sex can be unsafe too

Booze and bad decisions go hand in hand and a quickie with a lady of the night might seem sensible at the time because you popped into the 7-Eleven and bought a box of condoms but stuffing the one you didn’t use in your wallet for another time… those bad decisions start adding up.

When your woman wants to borrow a 100 baht and your drunken ass is still in bed she’s not gonna wake you up, she’s just opening that wallet to help herself.

And just like that, your ass is grass and your other half is about to mow it.


clean condo

A Clean Condo

If it doesn’t stink it stinks

After hosting a few harlots you decide to change the bedding before your babe comes back. Then you notice a few unusual marks on the bathroom sink. Next thing you know you’re mopping the floor. A final run round sees you dusting this and clearing away that. The place is spotless and there’s not a trace of any stray skirt.

As soon as your missus sees the place shining a dozen red flags will jump out her handbag and slap her around the head.

Fluffing up the bed and washing a few cups is one thing, giving it a going over as if you are on an episode of Clean House is another.


A Jealous Ex

A Jealous Ex

Beware of bunny boilers

A Friday night fumble with your ex after bumping into her at W District on a night out with the boys was fun at the time but despite her repeatedly telling you she doesn’t want you back doesn’t mean she is happy for you to be getting on with your life.

No, no, no. If she hasn’t met Mr Right yet then why should you be allowed to move on?

Fatal Attraction: The Bangkok Bunny Boiler in the making all because you couldn’t keep it in your pants.


thai baht

Unsual Spending Habits

It all adds up

You know how much you’ve got and so does she.

Even that “secret” stash you’ve got is all mentally logged in her head so when 5,000 here and 3,000 there start going unaccounted for, your balls will be on the line unless you can sweet talk your way through it week after week, date after date.


A Single Strand Of Hair

A Single Strand Of Hair

The #1 way to get caught

They can turn up in the most unexpected places such as a sock or inside a shoe, under the bedside cabinet, the back of the sofa, the sink, and on and on and on the list goes.

It just sits there unnoticed until it’s not noticed then it looks like someone is shining a spotlight on it.

And right at that moment, it’s game over for you.

Caught by a tiny, single strand of hair.

FYI: 9 Ways You’ll Get Caught Cheating In Bangkok was originally drafted by Mike in 2020 and the vast majority of it is his work.

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