Street Food Sucks

Published on 24th April 2017 by Stickboy BKK

I’m not saying I’ve never sampled street food in Bangkok, of course I have, after work or a quick Scooby snack on a night out with the boys, but the truth is, street food sucks.

I don’t care what CNN said a few weeks ago – I don’t trust a word they broadcast or print.

And oh how the self-proclaimed foodies are gonna blow a fuse after reading this and take the usual cheap shots of calling me a brainless sexpat… carry on clowns, you are fooling nobody but yourself by filling your faces with this junk.

Talking up cheap food cooked with low quality ingredients – fatty pork and chicken aren’t for me, enough MSG to kill a small village, more cooking oil used in one dish than you’d want to consume in a month… where do I stop?

And how about that cat and rat piss for some added flavouring or a bit of bus fumes for seasoning?

Tasty as f**k and healthy as hell – not

street food sucks

Old rickety tin tables, decades old plastic garden chairs, cutlery that bends on touch as if you are the new Uri Geller, stained dirty plates all of which have been washed and stored where?

Those hands that prepared and cooked your food on that unwashed surface were holding on to what when the chef had to spring a leek round the back of the cart?

And where did they wash their hands? Probably in the big bucket of dirty dish water the plates used for your food were rinsed in.

street food sucks

Chaotic footpaths filled with hot pots and pans, tables and chairs with not a care in the world for people trying to get past leaving pedestrians to take their chances on the road at many spots around the city.

Nothing to see here for the street food cheerleaders but these are the same people jumping on their soap boxes when inaccessibility for the disabled is mentioned.

The lovers of street food can’t have their moo ping and eat it too.

How can you have workers sort the broken and busted footpaths when they are filled morning to night with your beloved carts of crap?

The BTS often gets brought up in this conversation as they were taken to court and forced to install lifts at every station – many of which are almost complete.

It was a cheap shot and the operators of the Skytrain were an easy target for the activists who filed the claim. I’m not saying there shouldn’t be access for the disabled, of course there should, but how are they gonna get to the station to use the newly installed facilities?

Do wheelies or levitate over the blocked footpaths? With all the broken paving stones they are likely to get halfway to the station and get a puncture if they’re in a wheelchair.

The special paving slabs for the blind have poles planted in the middle of them and are as much use as a chocolate fireguard.

Like the BTS lifts, the thought was there and that’s all that matters. right?

street food sucks

As for the selfish street food vendors – send them packing to somewhere they are paying rent, not tapping the local power supply illegally or dumping their buckets of oil down the drain at the end of their shift before buggering off leaving their trash on the side of the road for the rats to feast on – something else they aren’t paying for, refuse collection.

But none of this matters to many. They have flawed arguments that go off on tangents and fail to comment on or address any of the points I’ve made above – and many more made by others.

Why let a few facts get in the way of a 30 baht bowl of noodles?

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