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Tales From The Front: Sunday Dinner On A Saturday Night

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Stickboy, Fatface, and The Keeper are sat in a British pub on lower Sukhumvit on a Saturday night…

A gathering of the clan earlier in the evening for some birthday beers meant Stickboy’s belly needed filling before meeting back up with everyone who had gone in different directions ahead of the cake cutting ceremony at Lighthouse sometime around 10pm.

Somchai The Dog had popped in for a couple of shandies but was looking like a burst couch and was having none of it ordering takeout before disappearing into the dark Bang Na bound on the BTS.

The other half of the Dangerous Duo, Digiman, wasn’t ready for home just yet but had no interest in food.

The Keeper orders quesadillas while smooth-talking his missus, girlfriend or gik – maybe all three – and wasn’t paying attention to much as Fatface orders Chips & Curry sauce for Stickboy.

sunday roast on a saturday night

The food arrives, everyone digs in, more beer is ordered to wash down the grub as all four eat what’s sat on the table.

The Keeper is still on the phone like an old sweetie wife and starts making space on the table with his free hand when a waitress arrives over his shoulder with another plate of food.

He clears a space in front of Fatface and Stickboy who look at each other thinking that’s an odd place to put a roast dinner they both think The Keeper has ordered for himself.

He ends his call and tucks into the roast pork telling everyone to help themselves which they do.

Chips are in the gravy, potatoes are in the curry sauce and the plate is emptying at a fair pace as four mouths feast on the Sunday dinner.

More than halfway through the food a member of the service staff appears and starts talking to The Keeper with Fatface joining in.

Something is amiss.

“Hey Stickboy, did you order the pork roast?”, enquires The Keeper.

“No mate, I thought you did.”

In his best Shaggy voice, he fires back, “It wasn’t me”.

It turns out some poor bloke sat at the bar was sitting patiently waiting on his dinner the staff had wrongly delivered that the four scavengers had all but demolished each of them thinking someone else at the table fancied a Sunday dinner on a Saturday night.

sunday roast on a saturday night

The four grubbers thought this was hilarious and all just shrugged their shoulders laughing having told the service staff to take it away… until Stickboy’s bin arrived with a Roast Pork Loin at 295 baht on it.

He wasn’t laughing any more.

Had it not been for the fact his mates own the pub he’d likely have upset the waitresses with a few choice words having been billed for something he didn’t order with zero conversation between staff and customer over what was a genuine mistake on the part of everyone involved.



Stickboy aka Sticky Boy aka Mike McKay aka Mike McKwai, Wild Mike, Magic Mike, Mr Mike, and a fair few more best forgotten, is a party animal with hollow legs who loves music, current affairs, beer, food, causing trouble on Twitter, and making the most of life without worrying too much about what people think or say about his antics. You can send him stuff here - stickboybkk@gmail.com

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Opinion

No Twitter, No Problem

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Facebook is the dominant social media network with far more users than the likes of Twitter but with more users comes more rules and for Stickboy that has been an ongoing problem for the past 7 years.

In February 2020 Zuckerberg & Co pulled the plug on the original Stickboy Bangkok Facebook page that had gained 60,000 followers.

25,000 photos, 1000’s of videos and endless hours of work gone in the click of a moderators mouse – well, it is their site and their rules which I tried hard to follow but it was impossible with the haters and keyboard warriors reporting all the posts and AI technology used by Facebook incorrectly marking content as offensive.

Stickboy On Twitter

This has made the new Stickboy BKK FB page rather dull and boring plus it isn’t as easy to share others content on the platform like it is over on Twitter where they are far more relaxed with their rules of what is and isn’t acceptable to post.

The problem is a lot of people aren’t interested in Twitter or just don’t get it so followers of Stickboy end up missing out on some great content and conversations shared on that platform that just isn’t suitable for Facebook.

As a way to give readers choices, I have published a page here on stickboybkk.com that lets you see my Twitter feed without the need to download the app and sign up for an account.

I have also done the same for the Stickboy Babes Twitter account that doesn’t exist on Facebook as the risk and chances of getting banned are far too high.

So there’s no need to miss out on any great content being shared somewhere you aren’t interested in or signed up for.

No account needed, read right here on the Stickboy website

Stickboy Bangkok Twitter

Stickboy Babes Twitter



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Opinion

FROM THE ARCHIVES: 5 Things Expats Love To Boast About

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Bangkok is bullshit central as far as I’m concerned – it always has been and it always will be. It matters not where you work or socialise, your fellow expats in vast numbers tend to talk utter crap, usually about themselves.

There’s no stopping them and what I’ve listed below are only a handful of the things expats like to boast and brag about with 99.99% of it nothing more than a figment of their imagination.

5 Things Expats Love To Boast About

Visa

If you are here in Thailand legally what difference does it make what visa anyone else is on?

Well, to some a great deal as it happens and anyone on anything they deem a “lower status” option than theirs shall be looked upon and treated like shit on their shoe.

Yet, many claiming to have their house in order are the ones disappearing over the border every three months… because they just love Cambodia so much.

Who They Know

Name dropping knobheads are everywhere and there’s no escaping them.

Do you know such and such? I bumped into blah blah the other day. Yeah I’m pals with the owner of XYZ.

My answer in these situations is always, “Nah, sorry I don’t know many people here” and to be fair, that’s a true statement. I don’t know many people here.

The chances of me knowing some guy who put on a show in an unknown venue located down a sub soi in the arse-end of Sukhumvit Road are about slight to none much the same as me knowing the owner of XYZ.

But they are super well known in Bangkok… well, I live under a rock with a tiny population and that’s just how I like it but good for you on having such a well-known and well-connected network.

Speaking Thai

They will talk to fellow expats in Thai and then pull a face when you don’t respond – we are both native English speakers you fud so what’s with the Thai?

Then we have those who “think” they can speak the lingo when at best they can tell the taxi driver left and right on the way home but that doesn’t stop them making a complete fool of themselves with their gibberish.

So you can speak some Thai, good on ya, but you aren’t alone, there are plenty of foreigners here who have put in the effort to learn the language but there’s a time and a place but chit-chatting to me in Thai isn’t one of them.

Wife / Girlfriend

Her heritage and social standing will be mentioned in the first breath of manure coming out their mouth about her being Thai-Chinese, or is it the other way around?

You will quickly be informed of how she is the only child of a super-wealthy hi-so family who owns half of Thonglor.

In their head this makes them believe they are superior to anyone foolish enough to date an Isaan native.

And what usually makes this funnier is they aren’t dating some super-rich chick at all but some wannabe WAG.

But why spoil the fun by pointing out the obvious? Let them carry on with their foolish fantasy.

Their Latest Money Making Idea

And the most important part of the title is “idea” because 99.999% of these dreamers who harp on about the millions they are going to make with their amazing money maker never ever get around to putting their big plans into action.

They spend all day, and night, talking and do absolutely nothing.

And it’s funny how they always need a “partner” to get it off the ground.

Right, Stick is outta here before we get to how long they have lived here, the millions they are earning a month, how much champagne they drink, the fantastic job they have, how successful they were back in farrangland… and please don’t let me ever meet another special forces guy.



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Opinion

12 Essential Items For A Field Hospital Stay

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The Facebook page Ratchasee Jitasa has recommended 12 essential items that people should take with them if they test positive for Covid-19 and sent to a field hospital.

The essentials recommended are as follows:

1. Power strip
2. Personal items, such as toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, soap, towel and hairdryer.
3. Power bank
4. Wet wipes
5. Items to help relieve loneliness
6. Pillow, blanket and mattress
7. Eyeband
8. Food supplements, such as Vitamin C
9. Thermos bottle
10. Snacks
11. One set of clothes to be worn before returning home
12. Underwear for 14 days

12 Essential Items For A Field Hospital Stay

I can think of a few more…

13. Condoms
14. Notebook / tablet
15. Books / mags
16. Headphones
17. Earplugs
18. Coffee
19. A few tinnies
20. Airfreshener



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