Stickboy, British Bulldog and The Swedish Chihuahua walk into a bar…
Little did they know it was Fight Night.
All started normally, with beverages imbibed, rocks tossed and laughs traded. The laughing ended, however, with the sight of the bulldog’s head thrust through the front curtain, an Angry Bloke’s fist attached to his chin.
Bulldog obviously had been catching up on old WWE videos, however, because he was wrapping his much-younger opponent in the curtain before clobbering him.
Bargirls shrieked. Pacifist punters pleaded for peace. But the two spilled into the outside bar, the Bulldog’s shorts somehow ending up at his ankles. Had he been interrupted while on the throne?
The Swedish Chihuahua quickly – and literally – dived in to help his embattled mate. He scored an 8.9 for technique from the judges, but hindered the Bulldog by tripping him as he went for Angry Bloke’s ankles.
Middle-aged white guys – not bar security – pulled the warring factions apart. Somchai & Son. apparently were still on a somtam break.
Bulldog, now pants-less, made a last-ditch effort to bash the Bloke with a barstool, but Budget Bobby made a quick save, sparing the crazed canine a night in the clink.
In the end, it was over before it began. The Boys in Brown appeared, saw all was in order and returned to doing nothing at their post.
“The thing I’m most thankful for in this fight was that Bulldog was wearing underwear,” Stickboy mused as the snarling dog claimed victory.
Like a golfer whose sliced tee shot became a 400-yard drive the next day, Bulldog was already perfecting his story: He was entirely innocent. The young lad’s eye looked like it was swelling shut. He actually fought off half the bar.
“Mate, there was only two of them,” Chihuahua pointed out. “And you did spill a drink on the Bloke’s iPad.”
Why the musclehead brought an iPad to a go-go bar remained an open question, even as he was spotted – both eyes still open – walking past the bar again, drawing a bark from the Bulldog.
“Hey, as they say back home,” British Bulldog said, “A great Friday night is a pint and a fight!”