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Opinion

Tales From The Front: Pizza Delivery Boys

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Stickboy, Gav the Gaffer and Thin Lizzy walk into go-go bar with a pizza…

Yes, you read that right. An entire Gallery Pizza pie. Hot. In the box, proving you’ll never know what you’ll see in a Bangkok chrome pole palace.

Whether it was the sight of the pizza or that Lizzy actually would be seen in public with Stick and the Gaffer, the eyes of the security mob out front went wide, but they didn’t stop the entourage.

Stickboy twisted his way to the back of the bar, only to be turned around by The Thin One, who wanted to hit the girls’ eyes with a big pizza pie.

She said a fair few looked like they could use one. And some donuts. And ice cream.

Tales From The Front Pizza Delivery Boys

The reaction, however, was slower than expected. The BTS Shufflers didn’t even notice the pizza, so deep were their noses in their mobile phones. But once those noses got a whiff of the Italian spices, food trumped Facebook.

The box was hoisted. Cheese was dripped. The mobiles got tucked into bikini bottoms.

So now the girls still weren’t dancing, but they were feeding their faces.

Stickboy and Gaffer had their slice. Lizzy taunted girls with hers. One was given as a tip to the waitress.

Now off-stage, the gaggle of go-go girlies surrounded Stickboy, complimenting him for his new oregano & tomato cologne. “Hey, you smell good now,” one gushed.

But soon the box was empty. Mission accomplished, Lizzy bid her adieu before anyone she knew saw her with the ageing Thompson Twins. Pizza gone, the girls departed as well, leaving the two boys with a box, just not the kind they came in for.

Stickboy aka Sticky Boy aka Mike McKay aka Mike McKwai, Wild Mike, Magic Mike, Mr Mike, and a fair few more best forgotten, is a party animal with hollow legs who loves music, current affairs, beer, food, causing trouble on Twitter, and making the most of life without worrying too much about what people think or say about his antics. You can send him stuff here - stickboybkk@gmail.com

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Opinion

A Legit Question

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A Twitter follower has a legit question – What is the point of leaving a seat vacant when other people who are standing on the BTS can literally smell each other’s armpits?

This very topic came up in conversation the other day with me and a few friends who pointed out that everyone on the BTS wore a mask and it couldn’t be compared to sitting in a pub or a restaurant.

As you might expect, I disagreed.

A Legit Question

Sure, while waiting on the train stood on the platform everyone is spaced out 1m apart… most of the time. And yes, everyone is wearing a mask but once inside the carriages during rush hour people are touching each other. Isn’t that the main way this coronavirus spreads?

By comparison, if you were sat in a pub or restaurant you’d be sat apart, no touching, no nothing. Sure, people wouldn’t be wearing masks but with numbers now so low the chances of catching anything has to be very unlikely.

So squashed together wearing masks is safer than being sat apart without one?

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Opinion

EMAIL OF THE DAY: Hey Dickboy

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Hey Dickboy, why aren’t you talking about what’s going on in America right now instead of sharing pictures of ugly women?

hey dickboy

Stick Says: I have no interest in what’s going on in my own country let alone yours.

Keep em coming… your feedback, thoughts and abuse make it all worthwhile.

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Opinion

A #GammonSteakMoment – What The Hell Is That?

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In the most basic terms, a #GammonSteakMoment is a simple and silly event that can occur anywhere at any time that is guaranteed to ruin my whole day and comes from a hilarious conversation over a few beers with J & J who were taking the piss out of old Stick for spitting the dummy at insignificant shite.

It all started out with me ordering a Gammon Steak for my lunch one day that despite telling the waitress twice what I wanted as we confirmed the order the food failed to appear on the table in front of me.

I was bloody starving and my entire day was ruined.

I sat buggering about on my phone while the other half fed her face as often the Thai dish will arrive first. My belly was rumbling and my mouth watering as I sat thinking about my food. I’d not eaten gammon steak with pineapple, a fried egg and chips for about 4 years and this was all I wanted.

Fat face had already licked her plate clean and there was no sign of mine. I even sat there making excuses like the kitchen must be busy.

GammonSteakMoment

“Do you want me to ask the waitress will it be long?”
“Nah, it will be here in two tics”.

Two tics my arse. The gammon steak never made it out the fucking fridge.

Bastards.

The silly service lass couldn’t even get a two meal order right and there were only about six people in the bloody place.

My day was ruined. And no, I’d waited 30 minutes already and I wasn’t waiting for another 30 so don’t even think about suggesting such a sensible idea.

And so, it began.

Now any time something trivial gets on my goat it is referred to as a #GammonSteakMoment and yes, it is always something that doesn’t really matter but for some reason, I let myself get wound up by it.

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