As frustrations in Bangkok grow at the ongoing restrictions on selling alcohol in restaurants and the continued closure of bars, people, rightly or wrongly, wanting a drink and a night out are continuously asking in comments, emails, private messages etc where can they get a cup of “tea” or “coffee”.
As things go in Thailand, there’s always someone willing to break the rules and take their chances selling sauce when they shouldn’t be.
In Bangkok, you can drink and dance around the clock – if you know where to go.
And here is where the trouble starts.
Too many people are getting annoyed, angry and upset with me because I’m not spilling the beans on social media where they can go for a decent “coffee”.
I guess they are just getting pissy at me out of frustration but you can be assured I won’t be incriminating myself or anyone else by talking about this sort of thing in a public forum or even privately with strangers.
Dropping hints, talking double-Dutch, a nudge and a wink… all good. Blurting it out, no chance.
As I was telling Stickman last month, the Stickboy audience is very diverse.
On Twitter, for example, around 40% of followers are female, both Thai and foreign. There’s also diplomats, ambassadors, politicians, policemen, journalists, mixed in with locals, expats and tourists tuning in to my daily updates.
I dread to think what would happen if I published on Facebook or Twitter, “Right troops, the “coffee” club hot pick of the day is Big Barry’s British Boozer on Soi 69. 2 mugs for 100 baht on special until 7pm”
Big Bazz would most likely be cuffed and stuffed within the hour, a couple of dozen patrons possibly heading for court the following day for breaking the Emergency Decree and most importantly, me and my missus packing our bags and heading to the hills for safety as God knows who is out for blood.
I’m happy with both my legs attached to my body and living in Bangkok, thank you very much.
The other common complaint at the moment is me not reporting who has been busted for selling “coffee”.
Just ask yourself, why would I want to piss on people struggling to stay afloat after a brutal 12 months?
I know I’m an asshole but there’s a time and a place for that – right now isn’t it.
My Week Off Was A Washout
I turned 50 last Monday and the plan was to work all day then, later on, celebrate with my missus and a couple of close friends before taking a few days off to relax and do something other than sit in front of the computer all day and night.
This plan was carved out on Friday night and Saturday morning.
All weekend I had my head down putting together a skeleton schedule on social media for my planned time off to keep things ticking over, just at a trickle.
Then on Sunday evening, the entire plan fell apart in one small but sudden movement.
I did my back in and the pain was excruciating.
Despite feeling like I was getting tasered every time I moved I cracked on with the social scheduling on Monday and went out as planned.
By Wednesday I could hardly move. I tried walking, laying down, heat pads, a massage thingy for your back… no dice.
A few packets of pills from the doc started to ease the pain but coughing or sneezing left me on the verge of passing out in pain.
Over the weekend with lots of pills and laying flat out on bed relieved things somewhat but what a wasted week.
I did nothing and went nowhere.
So here I am, back at my desk having had the longest period of time off since November 2019 when I flew back to Scotland for a few days and no better off.
One word sums up my week off – washout.
No Twitter, No Problem
Facebook is the dominant social media network with far more users than the likes of Twitter but with more users comes more rules and for Stickboy that has been an ongoing problem for the past 7 years.
In February 2020 Zuckerberg & Co pulled the plug on the original Stickboy Bangkok Facebook page that had gained 60,000 followers.
25,000 photos, 1000’s of videos and endless hours of work gone in the click of a moderators mouse – well, it is their site and their rules which I tried hard to follow but it was impossible with the haters and keyboard warriors reporting all the posts and AI technology used by Facebook incorrectly marking content as offensive.
This has made the new Stickboy BKK FB page rather dull and boring plus it isn’t as easy to share others content on the platform like it is over on Twitter where they are far more relaxed with their rules of what is and isn’t acceptable to post.
The problem is a lot of people aren’t interested in Twitter or just don’t get it so followers of Stickboy end up missing out on some great content and conversations shared on that platform that just isn’t suitable for Facebook.
As a way to give readers choices, I have published a page here on stickboybkk.com that lets you see my Twitter feed without the need to download the app and sign up for an account.
I have also done the same for the Stickboy Babes Twitter account that doesn’t exist on Facebook as the risk and chances of getting banned are far too high.
So there’s no need to miss out on any great content being shared somewhere you aren’t interested in or signed up for.
No account needed, read right here on the Stickboy website
FROM THE ARCHIVES: 5 Things Expats Love To Boast About
Bangkok is bullshit central as far as I’m concerned – it always has been and it always will be. It matters not where you work or socialise, your fellow expats in vast numbers tend to talk utter crap, usually about themselves.
There’s no stopping them and what I’ve listed below are only a handful of the things expats like to boast and brag about with 99.99% of it nothing more than a figment of their imagination.
If you are here in Thailand legally what difference does it make what visa anyone else is on?
Well, to some a great deal as it happens and anyone on anything they deem a “lower status” option than theirs shall be looked upon and treated like shit on their shoe.
Yet, many claiming to have their house in order are the ones disappearing over the border every three months… because they just love Cambodia so much.
Who They Know
Name dropping knobheads are everywhere and there’s no escaping them.
Do you know such and such? I bumped into blah blah the other day. Yeah I’m pals with the owner of XYZ.
My answer in these situations is always, “Nah, sorry I don’t know many people here” and to be fair, that’s a true statement. I don’t know many people here.
The chances of me knowing some guy who put on a show in an unknown venue located down a sub soi in the arse-end of Sukhumvit Road are about slight to none much the same as me knowing the owner of XYZ.
But they are super well known in Bangkok… well, I live under a rock with a tiny population and that’s just how I like it but good for you on having such a well-known and well-connected network.
They will talk to fellow expats in Thai and then pull a face when you don’t respond – we are both native English speakers you fud so what’s with the Thai?
Then we have those who “think” they can speak the lingo when at best they can tell the taxi driver left and right on the way home but that doesn’t stop them making a complete fool of themselves with their gibberish.
So you can speak some Thai, good on ya, but you aren’t alone, there are plenty of foreigners here who have put in the effort to learn the language but there’s a time and a place but chit-chatting to me in Thai isn’t one of them.
Wife / Girlfriend
Her heritage and social standing will be mentioned in the first breath of manure coming out their mouth about her being Thai-Chinese, or is it the other way around?
You will quickly be informed of how she is the only child of a super-wealthy hi-so family who owns half of Thonglor.
In their head this makes them believe they are superior to anyone foolish enough to date an Isaan native.
And what usually makes this funnier is they aren’t dating some super-rich chick at all but some wannabe WAG.
But why spoil the fun by pointing out the obvious? Let them carry on with their foolish fantasy.
Their Latest Money Making Idea
And the most important part of the title is “idea” because 99.999% of these dreamers who harp on about the millions they are going to make with their amazing money maker never ever get around to putting their big plans into action.
They spend all day, and night, talking and do absolutely nothing.
And it’s funny how they always need a “partner” to get it off the ground.
Right, Stick is outta here before we get to how long they have lived here, the millions they are earning a month, how much champagne they drink, the fantastic job they have, how successful they were back in farrangland… and please don’t let me ever meet another special forces guy.