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Opinion

Top 10 Bar Girl Lies 2015 Edition

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Top 10 Bar Girl Lies

Bangkok bar girls lie. They all do it. Your “girl” isn’t different regardless of what you think, she lies too and deep down you know it.

Now I’m not here to knock bar girls, far from it. I actually find it amusing and accept that in amongst the lies there will be some truth but I don’t plan on getting involved in a relationship that goes beyond me securing their services in a short time hotel for a few hours of fun so I let it go over my head with a smile and the offer of another drink.

So why do the girls lie so much? In my opinion its because the customers want them to.

The majority of guys going into bars don’t want to think little Lek has had sex with several other guys that week or even that day. He wants to think that she likes him and she is a bit special. Not like the others. The fact that she is a hooker and he is going to pay her for sex doesn’t even enter his mind. He is going to bed her with his charm and good looks.

Over the past 20 years the big game changers in the bar girl business was first email and now mobile phones, however, even with modern technology, the lies remain pretty much the same but I thought there’d be no harm in running down the pick of the bunch as a kindly reminder to those out there who drop off their brains at left luggage when they land at the airport.

Top 10 Bar Girl Lies 2015

Top 10 Bar Girl Lies 2015

I No Have Boyfriend

Yeah right. Who dropped you off at work? Is that a photo of you and your brother in your purse? All those farrangs on LINE are just friends, right?

Work Bar Only 2 Week

Which bar has she worked in for only two weeks? This one? What about all the other bars she has worked in around Bangkok and Pattaya for the past few years?

My Phone No Power

You try to phone your teerak and her phone is off… when she finally gets off her back with her boyfriend / customer she will simply say her phone had a dead battery. I don’t know any Thai, bar girl or not, who is ever without their phone. 20% power remaining = end of the world is near.

I Love You

This is one of my favourites and within an hour a bar girl can utter those three little words. Did she see your account balance at the ATM?

You Very Big

Now unless she is a horny little minx and wanting a good roll in the hay, this can be one of those top pocket excuses not to do the business. A lot of humming and hawing with plenty of ego massaging that maybe results in a handjob or BJ to avoid intercourse with someone she really doesn’t want to service. Unless you are packing some serious sausage you aren’t hung like a horse despite what little miss cute ass tells you.

You Very Big

I Like Old Man Fat With Good Heart

This translates as I will be with you because you have a fat wallet, not a fat stomach.

I No Have Baby

As soon as her towel gets undone back at the hotel her map of the world will be all too evident unless she has tattooed her belly. She can’t hide all those stretch marks so take a look at her ass. “Close light teelak, I shy”. LOL.

I No Like Thai Man

Oh really? See #1

He Only My Friend, We Only Go Eat

And she will tell the next guy in the queue the exact same thing about you. You could also ask what was she actually eating… Mr Banana?

I Finish Work Bar Go My Village

Yeah for two or three days until she gets bored after blowing off the cash you gave her. Then it’s back to the big smoke and party time with her friends at the bar she had quit. A few drinks later and the offer of a 3k baht short time stint and it’s back on the merry-go-round.

Stickboy aka Sticky Boy aka Mike McKay aka Mike McKwai, Wild Mike, Magic Mike, Mr Mike, and a fair few more best forgotten, is a party animal with hollow legs who loves music, current affairs, beer, food, causing trouble on Twitter, and making the most of life without worrying too much about what people think or say about his antics. You can send him stuff here - stickboybkk@gmail.com

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5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. Topper

    October 8, 2015 at 10:11 am

    LOL… seems like you have had a lot of experience with them Thai hookers. Very funny article. I enjoyed reading it while i thought it is same with all the Thai ladies be it a teenager or a grown ass woman. *just my opinion*

  2. G

    October 8, 2015 at 6:31 pm

    My favorite 4 from my last stay in thailand
    1) I have no boyfriend
    2) I no lie
    3) I no Speak no more
    4) I go back to room

  3. asia 4u

    October 17, 2015 at 11:02 pm

    Its up too you…

  4. Geoff

    October 24, 2015 at 10:27 am

    They tell the parents something different.but they know anyway.also the older bar girls tell the younger ones the lies that the farang will believe on they first trip or visit to bkk

  5. Dr. Mark

    November 12, 2015 at 12:47 am

    Lots of sound advice here. I am a long-time Thai involved Farang (since the Nam days) and have had countless Bar Girl experiences and fiascos. Two are very different. One is actually a relative (niece who calls me Papa). She is wonderful and sweet and I love her to death. I bought her braces at age 14 and fake tits at age 25. She has never asked me for a damned thing but I will always love and support her. The other exception is in my opinion the most beautiful woman on earth – a Chinese woman near a perfect 10. I have known her for years -and like the niece she has never asked me for a damned thing and only responds with love. She is a mamasan now but still my #1. I am married to a high class Thai bitch who hates them all – has a real disdain for anything resembling a Bar Girl. So that’s life. Go figure BUT don’t lump all Bar Girls into the selfish user class. There are some really good people working in those bars – you just have to go slow, be cautious and sort them out. But I do wish you would refrain from screwing my niece.

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Opinion

A Night Out At Tartbox

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A Night Out At Tartbox

During the dry spell when there was no beer to be had Artbox at Sukhumvit Soi 10 turned into a popular spot as refreshments were available.

It wasn’t only refreshments that were available but there was also the potential to meet ladies for some short time shenanigans as there was simply nowhere else for working girls, or those short on money and an itch to scratch, to meet men with some cash to splash on a bit of horizontal mambo.

Artbox didn’t really take my fancy when a few mates had said they were going but on Saturday night they decided to drop by for a beer and a bite to eat before moving on to the Neon Alley. I caved in and decided to join them.

Having taken a wander around buying food and parking my arse close to the stage I soon came to the conclusion the sign out front needed changing from Artbox to Tartbox.

I didn’t see the security guard at the gate on cleavage duty but there must have been one as everywhere I turned all I could see was tits hanging out on display for all to see and admire.

One lady with massive melons came close to a wardrobe malfunction on several occasions as she bounced around from stall to stall with all the bloke’s eyes popping out as she passed their tables. This woman wasn’t shy and was more than happy to show off her assets.

I spotted a few familiar faces in the crowd who normally ply their trade on Soi 4 too, and yes, they were all showing off the girls like it was a competition to see who could show the most.

One thing to keep in mind if you do decide to go for a nosy and chance your arm is not everyone you see there is looking to hook up. It really is a mixed crowd so watch out you don’t get a slap for making an indecent proposal to a group of girls there to have a drink after they’ve clocked off from the office.

Will Artbox continue to be a pick-up place for ladies of the night in the future?

Who knows with bars and other nightlife venues starting to reopen there are more choices of where to go man hunting.

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Opinion

Opening Night At Nana Plaza Was A Blast

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Opening Night At Nana Plaza Was A Blast

July 1st was the day many owners and customers had been waiting for since the middle of March when entertainment and nightlife were allowed to resume.

My plan was to visit all three bar areas to see what was going on and share it here on the website and do a few updates on social media.

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry as the saying goes and that’s exactly what happened. My whistle-stop tour became an adventure in Nana Plaza and boy, did we have ourselves a grand old time.

With some bars deciding to wait until after the long weekend with 2 dry days we had ourselves a list of 9 bars to visit and we kicked things off in Morning Night.

As we progressed through the outside beer bars to Stumble Inn, Big Dogs and K&S our entourage started rapidly growing in numbers.

There were lots of happy smiling faces in each of the four beer bars we visited and a decent amount of customers around too.

Time to venture inside Nana Plaza where you are asked to check-in via the Thai Chana app or alternatively sign in with your name, time and mobile number, at the entrance. Masks are required and once you’ve had your temperature taken and offered hand sanitizer you’re good to go in less than 30 seconds.

First up was Spanky’s for me while some of the guys opted to check out Twister BKK.

As you would expect, the middle floor house of fun was crushing it. Spanky’s was rocking and almost full when I popped in. Happy days.

My aim was to make sure we visited every bar that was open so it was a quick drink and a catch-up with all the usual suspects on and off the stage before moving on.

Next stop for us was Rainbow 4 where we planned to meet with the boys who headed to Twister BKK. In we go and ask where’s the bell…. “mai mee”. Huh? You haven’t got a bell?

We ordered a round and a few moments later a bell appeared. Ding, ding, ding.

Lots of cuties to keep me busy but to be fair, it wouldn’t have been difficult to spot some eye candy as the owners had filled the bar with at least 100 dancers.

It was the same story in both Rainbow 5 and 2 plus Twister BKK. All those bars had no fewer than 100 girls dancing. That’s a lot of chrome pole crumpet to choose from.

The man who appeared with the bell in Rainbow 4 was on the ball and accompanied us to Rainbow 5, formerly Twister Bar, before we all moved downstairs to Rainbow 2 which was heaving with dancing dollybirds. I fell in love at least 5 times in the hour we were there.

One for the road in Twister BKK which I missed on the first visit and damn, it was like Hotties R Us.

It’s too easy for me to get in trouble. I’m weak but there was no monkey business for old Stick last night.

It was burgers and bed after a great night out with the boys.

Hats off to all the bar owners who jumped in on the first day of opening who made a fine effort. As the week goes on more bars will be opening giving you even more choice and by the middle of next week, the whole Plaza will be open again.

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Opinion

It’s Not A Race

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The race to be number one is as old as man but in modern times, in a fast-paced world of news and social media things are at an all-new high when it comes to being “first”.

Sure, it feels great to be first with a scoop but it can come at a cost as most news outlets and reporters have come to learn in recent months with COVID-19 coverage.

Desperation to announce the latest coronavirus numbers before anyone else each day became a talking point on Twitter back in March as reporters banged away on their phones and computers as the stats were released.

Mistakes were made almost daily, corrections added later but in truth, not a care was given by any of the guilty parties. All that mattered was they Tweeted the stats first, even when they were wrong with one so-called journalist sharing the previous days numbers that were never corrected. She simply didn’t realise what a cock-up she’d made of it.

Not A Race

In the past few weeks, the same scenario has been repeated with news outlets desperate to be first with booze news and information on easing of restrictions.

I can’t think of one news website who didn’t run the ridiculous story of a two-day amnesty to allow people to purchase alcohol when sales were banned.

The story first appeared on Khaosod Online who sourced the story from who knows where and every man and his dog were all over it like a rash taking what had been published as fact and re-wrote the fairytale.

Did any of them bother to do a bit of research such place a couple of calls to ask a few questions to shed any light on the story, or anything else that might have enlightened them that the whole thing was a farce from the start? Of course they didn’t.

It was just too good not to publish as it was the #1 story of the day that turned out to be complete and utter nonsense.

Over and over again I have been told that I’m not sharing enough news on what is going on right now. I beg to differ.

The updates I have shared have been factual and accurate. Yes, I’ve sat back while others churn out clickbait crap as I don’t want to be part of that party.

Big news outlets get a pass when they share inaccurate stories, just look at the Bangkok Post – you all still read it and believe everything they publish despite dozens of misleading and inaccurate articles over the past 3 months.

If I was to do the same and publish something that turned out to be wrong, nobody would ever believe another word I said. I don’t have a gold “Get Out Of Fake News Jail Free” card.

And to be honest, that’s just the way I like it. Stickboy traffic and stats are great, I don’t need or want to be part of the clickbait crowd. I will continue to share news stories and information that I think will be of interest when the time is right.

It’s not a race, well, at least not for me.

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