Connect with us

Opinion

5 Things Expats Love To Boast About

Published

on

Bangkok is bullshit central as far as I’m concerned – it always has been and it always will be. It matters not where you work or socialise, your fellow expats in vast numbers tend to talk utter crap, usually about themselves.

There’s no stopping them and what I’ve listed below are only a handful of the things expats like to boast and brag about with 99.99% of it nothing more than a figment of their imagination.

5 Things Expats Love To Boast About

Visa

If you are here in Thailand legally what difference does it make what visa anyone else is on?

Well, to some a great deal as it happens and anyone on anything they deem a “lower status” option than theirs shall be looked upon and treated like shit on their shoe.

Yet, many claiming to have their house in order are the ones disappearing over the border every three months… because they just love Cambodia so much.

Who They Know

Name dropping knobheads are everywhere and there’s no escaping them.

Do you know such and such? I bumped into blah blah the other day. Yeah I’m pals with the owner of XYZ.

My answer in these situations is always, “Nah, sorry I don’t know many people here” and to be fair, that’s a true statement. I don’t know many people here.

The chances of me knowing some guy who put on a show in an unknown venue located down a sub soi in the arse-end of Sukhumvit Road are about slight to none much the same as me knowing the owner of XYZ.

But they are super well known in Bangkok… well, I live under a rock with a tiny population and that’s just how I like it but good for you on having such a well-known and well-connected network.

Speaking Thai

They will talk to fellow expats in Thai and then pull a face when you don’t respond – we are both native English speakers you fud so what’s with the Thai?

Then we have those who “think” they can speak the lingo when at best they can tell the taxi driver left and right on the way home but that doesn’t stop them making a complete fool of themselves with their gibberish.

So you can speak some Thai, good on ya, but you aren’t alone, there are plenty of foreigners here who have put in the effort to learn the language but there’s a time and a place and chit-chatting to me in Thai isn’t one of them.

Wife / Girlfriend

Her heritage and social standing will be mentioned in the first breath of manure coming out their mouth about her being Thai-Chinese, or is it the other way around?

You will quickly be informed of how she is the only child of a super-wealthy hi-so family who owns half of Thonglor.

In their head this makes them believe they are superior to anyone foolish enough to date an Isaan native.

And what usually makes this funnier is they aren’t dating some super-rich chick at all but some wannabe WAG.

But why spoil the fun by pointing out the obvious? Let them carry on with their foolish fantasy.

Their Latest Money Making Idea

And the most important part of the title is “idea” because 99.999% of these dreamers who harp on about the millions they are going to make with their amazing money maker never ever get around to putting their big plans into action.

They spend all day, and night, talking and do absolutely nothing.

And it’s funny how they always need a “partner” to get it off the ground.

Right, Stick is outta here before we get to how long they have lived here, the millions they are earning a month, how much champagne they drink, the fantastic job they have, how successful they were back in farrangland… and please don’t let me ever meet another special forces guy.

Stickboy aka Sticky Boy aka Mike McKay aka Mike McKwai, Wild Mike, Magic Mike, Mr Mike, and a fair few more best forgotten, is a party animal with hollow legs who loves music, current affairs, beer, food, causing trouble on Twitter, and making the most of life without worrying too much about what people think or say about his antics. You can send him stuff here - stickboybkk@gmail.com

Continue Reading
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Opinion

A Legit Question

Published

on

A Twitter follower has a legit question – What is the point of leaving a seat vacant when other people who are standing on the BTS can literally smell each other’s armpits?

This very topic came up in conversation the other day with me and a few friends who pointed out that everyone on the BTS wore a mask and it couldn’t be compared to sitting in a pub or a restaurant.

As you might expect, I disagreed.

A Legit Question

Sure, while waiting on the train stood on the platform everyone is spaced out 1m apart… most of the time. And yes, everyone is wearing a mask but once inside the carriages during rush hour people are touching each other. Isn’t that the main way this coronavirus spreads?

By comparison, if you were sat in a pub or restaurant you’d be sat apart, no touching, no nothing. Sure, people wouldn’t be wearing masks but with numbers now so low the chances of catching anything has to be very unlikely.

So squashed together wearing masks is safer than being sat apart without one?

Continue Reading

Opinion

EMAIL OF THE DAY: Hey Dickboy

Published

on

Hey Dickboy, why aren’t you talking about what’s going on in America right now instead of sharing pictures of ugly women?

hey dickboy

Stick Says: I have no interest in what’s going on in my own country let alone yours.

Keep em coming… your feedback, thoughts and abuse make it all worthwhile.

Continue Reading

Opinion

A #GammonSteakMoment – What The Hell Is That?

Published

on

In the most basic terms, a #GammonSteakMoment is a simple and silly event that can occur anywhere at any time that is guaranteed to ruin my whole day and comes from a hilarious conversation over a few beers with J & J who were taking the piss out of old Stick for spitting the dummy at insignificant shite.

It all started out with me ordering a Gammon Steak for my lunch one day that despite telling the waitress twice what I wanted as we confirmed the order the food failed to appear on the table in front of me.

I was bloody starving and my entire day was ruined.

I sat buggering about on my phone while the other half fed her face as often the Thai dish will arrive first. My belly was rumbling and my mouth watering as I sat thinking about my food. I’d not eaten gammon steak with pineapple, a fried egg and chips for about 4 years and this was all I wanted.

Fat face had already licked her plate clean and there was no sign of mine. I even sat there making excuses like the kitchen must be busy.

GammonSteakMoment

“Do you want me to ask the waitress will it be long?”
“Nah, it will be here in two tics”.

Two tics my arse. The gammon steak never made it out the fucking fridge.

Bastards.

The silly service lass couldn’t even get a two meal order right and there were only about six people in the bloody place.

My day was ruined. And no, I’d waited 30 minutes already and I wasn’t waiting for another 30 so don’t even think about suggesting such a sensible idea.

And so, it began.

Now any time something trivial gets on my goat it is referred to as a #GammonSteakMoment and yes, it is always something that doesn’t really matter but for some reason, I let myself get wound up by it.

Continue Reading

Trending