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Opinion

5 Things Expats Love To Boast About

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Bangkok is bullshit central as far as I’m concerned – it always has been and it always will be. It matters not where you work or socialise, your fellow expats in vast numbers tend to talk utter crap, usually about themselves.

There’s no stopping them and what I’ve listed below are only a handful of the things expats like to boast and brag about with 99.99% of it nothing more than a figment of their imagination.

5 Things Expats Love To Boast About

Visa

If you are here in Thailand legally what difference does it make what visa anyone else is on?

Well, to some a great deal as it happens and anyone on anything they deem a “lower status” option than theirs shall be looked upon and treated like shit on their shoe.

Yet, many claiming to have their house in order are the ones disappearing over the border every three months… because they just love Cambodia so much.

Who They Know

Name dropping knobheads are everywhere and there’s no escaping them.

Do you know such and such? I bumped into blah blah the other day. Yeah I’m pals with the owner of XYZ.

My answer in these situations is always, “Nah, sorry I don’t know many people here” and to be fair, that’s a true statement. I don’t know many people here.

The chances of me knowing some guy who put on a show in an unknown venue located down a sub soi in the arse-end of Sukhumvit Road are about slight to none much the same as me knowing the owner of XYZ.

But they are super well known in Bangkok… well, I live under a rock with a tiny population and that’s just how I like it but good for you on having such a well-known and well-connected network.

Speaking Thai

They will talk to fellow expats in Thai and then pull a face when you don’t respond – we are both native English speakers you fud so what’s with the Thai?

Then we have those who “think” they can speak the lingo when at best they can tell the taxi driver left and right on the way home but that doesn’t stop them making a complete fool of themselves with their gibberish.

So you can speak some Thai, good on ya, but you aren’t alone, there are plenty of foreigners here who have put in the effort to learn the language but there’s a time and a place but chit-chatting to me in Thai isn’t one of them.

Wife / Girlfriend

Her heritage and social standing will be mentioned in the first breath of manure coming out their mouth about her being Thai-Chinese, or is it the other way around?

You will quickly be informed of how she is the only child of a super-wealthy hi-so family who owns half of Thonglor.

In their head this makes them believe they are superior to anyone foolish enough to date an Isaan native.

And what usually makes this funnier is they aren’t dating some super-rich chick at all but some wannabe WAG.

But why spoil the fun by pointing out the obvious? Let them carry on with their foolish fantasy.

Their Latest Money Making Idea

And the most important part of the title is “idea” because 99.999% of these dreamers who harp on about the millions they are going to make with their amazing money maker never ever get around to putting their big plans into action.

They spend all day, and night, talking and do absolutely nothing.

And it’s funny how they always need a “partner” to get it off the ground.

Right, Stick is outta here before we get to how long they have lived here, the millions they are earning a month, how much champagne they drink, the fantastic job they have, how successful they were back in farrangland… and please don’t let me ever meet another special forces guy.



Stickboy aka Sticky Boy aka Mike McKay aka Mike McKwai, Wild Mike, Magic Mike, Mr Mike, and a fair few more best forgotten, is a party animal with hollow legs who loves music, current affairs, beer, food, causing trouble on Twitter, and making the most of life without worrying too much about what people think or say about his antics. You can send him stuff here - stickboybkk@gmail.com

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Opinion

Easy Does It This Weekend

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Puffed Out

This weekend is a 4-day holiday in Thailand and normally I’d work through it and take some time off afterwards but with things so quiet on all fronts I decided to join the masses and take a couple of days off.

Updates will resume once I have slept myself silly and recharged my batteries.

I don’t plan on doing much of anything or going anywhere so I will still add a few updates on social media to pass the time as they don’t require much brainpower or thinking.

Whatever you are doing, be it the beach or boozing, maybe both, enjoy yourself and have fun.

See you on the other side.



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Opinion

Good Times At Geisha

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Geisha Nana Plaza

Geisha on the top floor of Nana Plaza opened back at the beginning of December 2018 and went through a rollercoaster ride under its owner dubbed the Crazy Korean.

I don’t want to drag up the past as he has now left the building and no longer in charge which has seen the bar go from alright for a quick drink to lets order another round and another.

With a Thai guy now at the helm, it is a totally different bar and me saying this comes off the back of more than one visit.

Just before the shutdown me and my bro were on a Nana bar crawl and we popped in for a drink. The new boss, staff and dancers made us right at home so much so we stayed until lights out when the plan was to hit each bar for 1 drink, ring the bell and move on.

I’d have been back sooner had it not been for the coronavirus shutdown but my wait was over when i dropped by with my missus the other night.

Decent music, cold beer, plenty of attentive staff and stage packed with birds with a second shift floating around waiting for their time.

The new man was in fine form and suggested we go watch the show in the tub with a ringside seat.

Oh man, that wee blonde thing kissing my missus will be with me until she gets round to bedding her and hopefully lets me watch.

A fun bunch they are in Geisha and unlike some other bars, nobody really giving a toss what you are up to as long as you aren’t getting out of hand and making problems and I like that because in some bars staff and security have a really bad habit of staring at people who are doing nothing wrong, just having some fun.

And one last thing to come out of my recent trip was they are up for doing a photoshoot sometime soon which would be good as I haven’t done one since last October.

So there you have another bar to add to your list the next time you are in Nana Plaza. Just don’t tell them Stickboy sent you.



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Opinion

A Night Out At Tartbox

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A Night Out At Tartbox

During the dry spell when there was no beer to be had Artbox at Sukhumvit Soi 10 turned into a popular spot as refreshments were available.

It wasn’t only refreshments that were available but there was also the potential to meet ladies for some short time shenanigans as there was simply nowhere else for working girls, or those short on money and an itch to scratch, to meet men with some cash to splash on a bit of horizontal mambo.

Artbox didn’t really take my fancy when a few mates had said they were going but on Saturday night they decided to drop by for a beer and a bite to eat before moving on to the Neon Alley. I caved in and decided to join them.

Having taken a wander around buying food and parking my arse close to the stage I soon came to the conclusion the sign out front needed changing from Artbox to Tartbox.

I didn’t see the security guard at the gate on cleavage duty but there must have been one as everywhere I turned all I could see was tits hanging out on display for all to see and admire.

One lady with massive melons came close to a wardrobe malfunction on several occasions as she bounced around from stall to stall with all the bloke’s eyes popping out as she passed their tables. This woman wasn’t shy and was more than happy to show off her assets.

I spotted a few familiar faces in the crowd who normally ply their trade on Soi 4 too, and yes, they were all showing off the girls like it was a competition to see who could show the most.

One thing to keep in mind if you do decide to go for a nosy and chance your arm is not everyone you see there is looking to hook up. It really is a mixed crowd so watch out you don’t get a slap for making an indecent proposal to a group of girls there to have a drink after they’ve clocked off from the office.

Will Artbox continue to be a pick-up place for ladies of the night in the future?

Who knows with bars and other nightlife venues starting to reopen there are more choices of where to go man hunting.



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